


Through the Shadows

by Dreamshaper



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, I referred to this as The Angstfest while writing, So yeah, and fighting, and hurt/comfort, but also fluff, there will be angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:15:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 31,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25486081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamshaper/pseuds/Dreamshaper
Summary: After crashing her bike helping Harley, Helena hasn't found the others again and never made it to the pier. Keeping up her end of the bargain she has made with the men in Sicily, she takes up work in Gotham as an assassin for hire, while Dinah and Renee try to figure out how to find her and get her off this path.
Relationships: Helena Bertinelli/Dinah Lance
Comments: 243
Kudos: 122





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There's quite a bit of angst in this, but I promise there will be happy times, too. XD I hope you'll enjoy this :)

_And I feel tired, empty and hollow  
Heartbroken inside  
And I feel this life   
Has nothing for me anymore _

**Insomnium - Through the Shadows**

Dinah is still a bit unsteady on her feet when Renee and she arrive at the harbour in Renee’s car, but she reassures the cop she is fine as she gets out of the vehicle, glad that she’s not staggering; Renee might have told her to stay back if she had, but as it is, the cop just nods and leads the way, even jogs a bit, Dinah’s not happy about that, but she manages to keep up.

As it turns out, there has been no need to run, they see Harley push Sionis over the side of the pier from afar and then the man actually _explodes_ , both Renee and Dinah momentarily pausing at that unexpected sight; they recover quickly though, and hurry to where Harley and Cassandra are standing, looking down on the bits and pieces of Sionis which are now swimming on the water below.

“That Sionis?” Renee asks, just to be on the safe side; Harley nods, looking proud even though Dinah suspects this hasn’t been her doing alone, fairly certain Cassandra has had a hand in it.

“Good”, Renee adds, smirking now, “fuck that guy.”

“Guys?” Dinah says before they can get into a celebratory mood, glancing around as she realizes someone is missing, “...where’s Huntress?”

* * *

Perhaps, Helena thinks to herself as she steps into the motel room, feeling sore and tired now that the fight is over, perhaps it has been a mistake to not join the others, to leave after whipping Harley had made her crash her bike.

Part of her has hoped for a bit that Renee would pull up in her car and give her a ride, but the cop must have taken another route, because she never has shown up; and Helena figures that it would have taken her too long to get there on foot, and so, she’s gone back to the motel, and now, she sits on the bed there, showered and with her injuries taken care of, and doesn’t quite know what to do.

So, for a while, she just sits there, and stares at the floor between her feet; her cuts sting a bit, but it’s nothing she can’t handle, she figures she’s lucky she hasn’t been hurt worse, but then, the four of them have made a good team, short lived as that has been. 

“Well, that was fun while it lasted”, she mutters to herself, but then, she figures it wouldn’t have worked well in the long run, she hasn’t been raised to be much of a team player; thinking of how she has been actually raised makes her think of the men who have done said raising, and of the promise she has made to them, and she pulls out her cell phone, dialling one of three numbers in the contact list.

The call is taken after just one ring, showing her it has been expected; and she doesn’t bother with small talk, just gets straight to the point. 

“It’s done”, she says, and for a moment, she feels proud again, she has been fairly certain she will make it to this point, but only now that she has actually made it, she thinks of all the moments something could have gone wrong, “I killed them all.”

“Good job”, she’s told, and that is high praise, she knows, and she feels proud again, “you are okay?”

“Fine”, Helena says, and she is, her injuries are small and superficial, they will heal quickly and they won’t hinder her until they have done so, “there were a few… complications. But nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Good”, the man says again, “we have been waiting for your call. There are a few people who are in need of your… skills. We’ll email you the details. Take your pick and let us know.”

“Alright”, she agrees, then ends the call and stares at the dark display, waiting for the email; and it arrives ten seconds later, showing it has been ready and that the man she has been speaking to only has been waiting for her call.

It’s all fairly basic jobs, Helena realizes quickly as she reads through them, various mob bosses wanting people killed; she sighs to herself, not quite enjoying the idea of being an assassin for hire from now on, but then, she’s all too aware that this is all she is good at, and the men who have raised her have made it very clear to her what they expect of her once she has finished her quest for vengeance.

_We will train you. We will teach you everything we know, everything you_ need _to know. And once you are done with your vengeance, you will work for us._

She doesn’t like the idea as much as they probably want her to, but then, she doesn’t have much of a choice, either - she has no other way to earn money, nothing else she is good at, and they have trained her well, so she has to keep up her end of the bargain, at least for a while, until she has made some cash and perhaps can start over somewhere else, once they deem her debt to them as paid. 

And this is a good starting point for this, Helena figures, choosing one of the jobs on offer at random, it’s not like she knows any of these people, so it doesn’t really matter to her; she sends her answer back, and not even five minutes later, receives more detail on the job she has chosen, she still will have some research of her own to do, but it’s a good starting point.

_Consider it done_ , she writes back, then tosses her phone onto the bedside table and lies down on her back, staring up at the ceiling; she’s still not sure she wants to do this, but now she has agreed, she has agreed already back in Sicily, and there is no backing out anymore now, once a job has been taken, the job needs to get done.

Sighing to herself, Helena gets as comfortable as it’s possible on the motel bed, folding her hands beneath her head; she lies in the darkness for a while, staring up at the ceiling, and trying to empty her mind.

She tries not to think about how she is making a big mistake, taking this kind of work, but she doesn’t quite succeed.


	2. Chapter 2

“I know you don’t want to hear this”, Renee says as a greeting, earning a dark look from Dinah, “but our rage-filled friend struck again last night.”

She drops the newspaper down onto the desk, helpfully having folded it so that the headline she wants Dinah to see is right there; Dinah sighs, she doesn’t  _ want _ to see it, but she looks anyway, not surprised at what it says.

**Francesco Lombardi found dead in his home** , the headline boldly proclaims, and a quick scan of the article reveals it must have been a hit organized by some rival mob boss; and it also tells the readers of the newspaper that the man has been killed by a crossbow bolt to the throat, another victim of this mysterious new assassin who has been taking out people in Gotham for the past three months.

“Shit”, Dinah sighs, pushing the newspaper away from herself, “I can’t believe this. But it has to be her, who else uses crossbows in this day and age?”

“It’s definitely her”, Renee confirms, with a sigh of her own, “she’s got the knowledge and skill to pull this off. And the connections, with her guys in Sicily.”

“Still”, Dinah mumbles, looking at the newspaper again after all, “I thought… I don’t know. That she’d find us. Join us.”

_ That she’s interested in me like I am in her, after how she has looked at me. _

She doesn’t say that last part out loud, but she is fairly certain Renee knows anyway, the woman is good at reading people, and especially good at reading her - they have been working together for a while now, after all, sometimes with Harley, but mostly it’s just the two of them, and they are a good team at this point, decimating the number of gangs in Gotham one at a time.

“At this point, I hope she doesn’t find us”, Renee says, shrugging at the look Dinah shoots her for this, “what? She must have killed a dozen people at this point. For money. I got it when she was on her quest for vengeance, but this? This is business, and I thought she’d be better than that.”

Dinah knows this is a good point, but she doesn’t want to admit it; she hasn’t spent much time with Helena, and a lot of the time they have had has been filled with fighting, but she remembers what she has seen before the big fight, how Helena has reacted to everything around her.

She’s seen the rage, but she has also seen the insecurity and the pain, and while she knows she’s only assuming, or perhaps that it is wishful thinking, she’s fairly certain Helena is not happy doing what she is doing now, that this is not what she has had in mind for the time after finishing her list. 

“She might have been”, she thus says out loud, Renee raising an eyebrow, “she might have been better than that. If we had found her, or had looked for her or… I don’t know. I know you’ll think this is bullshit, but I’m sure this is not what she wants.”

Renee just shrugs, apparently not wanting to comment on her thoughts about this reasoning from Dinah; Dinah holds her gaze for a moment longer, then grabs the newspaper and throws it into the trash, glad when Renee doesn’t protest, she has almost expected her to tell her that she wants to stop Helena before she can kill any more people and that they need this for their research.

Thankfully though, it seems like Renee is not planning to take on Helena, and Dinah isn’t just glad about this because of how she has been attracted to the woman from the very first moment on - she’s not actually sure they could take her on if they wanted to, she has seen her fight and has seen her use her crossbow, she knows how good she is, and while Renee and she herself are not bad either, she’s not sure they would stand much of a chance against her.

“You got any leads?” Dinah asks in an attempt to change the topic; she’s fairly certain Renee sees right through it, but she doesn’t call her out on it, just nods instead as she pulls a folded piece of paper from her pocket.

“Ellen sent me this”, she says, unfolding it and handing it to Dinah, the singer scanning it quickly, realizing it’s from one of the assistant DA’s files, “they almost had that guy, but he ended up getting off the hook. He’s supplying a bunch of gangs with drugs, if we stop him, it’ll be a hit against all of them, very effective.”

“And it will earn you Ellen’s favour, won’t it”, Dinah dryly says, Renee having the grace to look a bit sheepish as she shrugs, “but yeah, sounds like it’ll be worth it to take this guy down. Maybe we should get Harley in on it though, if he’s such a big fish, he might have a couple of guys around to protect him.”

“Yeah”, Renee agrees after a moment, Dinah knows she still doesn’t quite trust Harley fully, but so far, the former psychiatrist has always been helpful when she has gone with them, “call her then, see if she’s interested. If she is, tell her to meet us at the northern freight depot, he usually meets his couriers there.”

Dinah nods and pulls out her phone to call Harley, glad when the call is taken quickly; she tells Harley what Renee and she are up to, and Harley tells her that she has nothing better to do for the evening, so she’ll come along, making Dinah smile a bit as she gives her the address and the time where she should meet them, then.

“See you there”, Harley says once she has all the information, “and I’ll bring my mallet!”

“You do that”, Dinah tells her, then ends the call; she tells Renee that Harley is in, and the former cop nods, smiling a bit now, Ellen hasn’t been able to give her much information about how many guys their target might bring along, but she figures it’ll be better to be safe than sorry.

“We might paint a target on our backs with this”, she says out loud, Dinah raising her brows, “so far, we have been going after smalltime gangs, but this is bigger. You are aware of this, right?”

“Of course”, Dinah tells her dryly, “and I’m pretty sure we already got targets on our backs, anyway, we have been doing this for a while now. You’re not chickening out, are you.”

“Of course not”, Renee says indignantly, making the singer smile a bit, “I’m just making sure we’re on the same page. Well then, I guess we better get ready then, we need to be well prepared for this guy.”

Dinah nods and gets up from her seat, and as she does so, her gaze falls onto the newspaper in the trashcan again; she pauses as her heart suddenly feels oddly heavy, then pushes those emotions aside and moves to get ready, not allowing herself to think of Helena and of the things the assassin is doing now anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Dinah, she just wants her Crossbow back.


	3. Chapter 3

“Okay, I’m glad Harley came along”, Renee whispers quite a while later, as they have found a good hiding spot to watch their target for a while, “he brought more guys than I thought he would. Why would he bring ten guys for this?”

“Maybe can’t trust his couriers”, Dinah replies with a shrug, studying the men who are guarding the drug lord, “you know half of those are probably addicts as well. You guys ready?”

“Ready”, Renee and Harley say in perfect unison; Harley raises her mallet, and Renee pulls on her brass knuckles, Dinah taking a firm hold of the baseball bat she has taken to using, the three women exchanging another look before they charge.

The drug lord, as it turns out, has brought along more men than perhaps necessary, but they haven’t been paying attention to their surroundings, and three of them go down before they realize what is happening; another three follow quickly, the three women working well together at this point even though Harley doesn’t go with them every time, and by the time the remaining guys regain their wits, there’s only four of them left. 

Dinah takes one down and Harley another, and Renee charges after the druglord when he tries to run; one of the two still standing now clumsily swings at Dinah, a hit she easily blocks with the bat, and a swift kick to the stomach takes him down, as well.

Harley swings her mallet and knocks the last one down, just as Renee tackles the drug lord; and even though it has been a bigger fight than those they have had so far, they have won fairly quickly, Dinah a bit amazed at how easy this actually has been.

“I thought that would be harder”, Harley apparently has similar thoughts, while Renee handcuffs their main target to a lamppost near the pile of drugs he’s been planning to hand out, evidence he won’t be able to talk his way out of now, “now I’m all riled up and this energy has nowhere to go.”

“I’m sure we can find some other gang for you to beat up”, Renee says with a roll of her eyes as she pulls out her phone to call one of her contacts at the police, “thanks for your help though, that has made this fight quite a bit easier.”

“Anytime, babydoll”, Harley says, and Renee rolls her eyes again; Dinah smiles, then walks a few steps away so Renee can make her call, Harley trailing along behind her, sounding quite casual when she speaks up, despite the unexpectedly serious content of her words, if Dinah had been drinking something, she darkly ponders to herself, she probably would have done a spit-take.

“You’ve read the newspaper today?” Harley wants to know, twirling her mallet almost playfully, “we are in agreement that this mafia dude got killed by Huntress, right?”

“Right”, Dinah says, not sure where this is going, she figures Harley will be bothered the least by Helena doing this, seeing how not all of her own businesses and actions are exactly legal, “the crossbow bolt is a good hint. Why?”

“Just wondering”, Harley replies with a shrug, twirling her mallet again, “that’s probably not the best career she could have chosen. What with her childhood trauma and everything.”

Dinah isn’t quite sure what the right answer to that might be, so she just shrugs; Harley apparently has expected something else from her, raising her eyebrows, and looking oddly disappointed when Dinah says nothing.

“Well, if you run into her, say Hi to her from me”, Harley finally says, Dinah nodding this time, and when Harley tells her goodbye and wanders off, she feels as if she has disappointed her, not sure why and not sure what Harley has been expecting, but the feeling is nagging at her for the rest of the night and simply won’t go away.

* * *

This time, the drug lord doesn’t get off the hook, as Ellen informs Renee a few days after they have take him down; he’ll go to prison for a long time, the assistant DA proudly tells them, and they have landed quite the blow against the drug dealing scene of Gotham, a whole bunch of dealers now out of a supplier and thus out of work.

Those people still need money though, and so, when they take to robbing citizens, Dinah and Renee are ready; they patrol the streets of Gotham at night, stop several robberies and thin out the herd further, and for the first time since they have started doing this, Dinah feels like they’re actually making a difference.

Both Renee and she are made aware that taking down this drug lord has given their reputation a mighty boost, the criminals they fight now often know who they are, and some openly blame them for the loss of their supplier; Harley also warns them that they have pissed several important people off, but Dinah figures they will be okay, Renee has contacts after all and those contacts have contacts of their own, so surely, they will be warned in case some bigger name wants to make a move against them.

And so, she’s not bothered when another group of former drug dealers recognizes them as those responsible for their lack of stuff to sell; what does bother her is the fact that they have armed themselves, thankfully with knives and one of them, absurdly, with an axe, but not with guns, even though knives and an axe are still more dangerous than people going up against them with their bare hands. 

Dinah and Renee make sure to stand back to back for this fight, so none of them can sneak up and stab them in the back; the gang is circling them, looking for an opening, Dinah trying hard to not let any of them out of her sight, and when one of them charges her, she takes him down quicky, one well placed kick enough to send him down.

Another one makes his move, and she gets ready to take him out, as well; and just before he gets within her reach, something whizzes past her ear and suddenly he falls even though she hasn’t touched him, and she blinks, for a moment confused and not quite sure what has happened.

Then she sees the crossbow bolt in his chest, and her eyes go wide; another bolt hits one of the other guys, and he goes down, and the others seem to take this as a signal that they stand no chance, turning and running, while Dinah and Renee both turn to where the shots have come from, Dinah unable to stop herself from smiling when she sees Helena a few feet away.

Her smile fades when she realizes Helena is still aiming the crossbow, and at them this time.

“Helena”, she says, raising her voice so she’ll actually be heard, confused when Renee doesn’t greet the woman in any way, “it’s us! Renee and me!”

“You’re the Birds of Prey”, Helena says, and from the corner of her eye, Dinah notices how Renee’s hand slowly moves towards her gun; Helena sounds as if she can’t quite believe it, but she is still aiming the crossbow, and slowly, Dinah starts to feel horrified as she realizes what this might mean.

“We are”, Renee confirms, then glances at Dinah, before her gaze moves back to the assassin, “and she’s been hired to take us out.”

For a second, Dinah can allow herself the hope that this is wrong, that Renee has gotten it all wrong… then Helena gives a terse nod, and it feels as if the ground is breaking apart beneath her feet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helena to the rescue! ... or not?


	4. Chapter 4

Renee pulls her gun and aims it, and Dinah figures she only can do so because Helena lets her, she knows how fast the assassin can be if she wants to be; even with the distance between them, she takes note of how Helena swallows heavily, but she’s still aiming the crossbow, not lowering it even when Renee points her gun at her.

“Dinah, get behind me”, Renee says, her finger on the trigger, to Dinah’s dismay and fright, “we can’t trust her.”

“Helena, what the fuck”, Dinah snaps instead of doing what Renee has said, ignoring it when the former cop somehow manages to glare at her without actually looking away from the assassin, suddenly too angry to be scared or horrified, “put that damn thing down. Are you fucking serious? Taking a contract  _ on us _ ?”

“I didn’t know it’s you!” Helena says, of all things, but she does lower the crossbow, to Dinah’s slight relief, even though this relief doesn’t dampen her anger, “it just said the vigilantes calling themselves the Birds of Prey!”

“Vigilantes!” Dinah angrily points out, “we’re the good guys! We know what you have been doing, killing all these people for money, but at least none of them were people trying to do the right thing! What the fuck will you do next, gun down some family?”

“Um, Dinah”, Renee mutters, not taking her eyes off of Helena, the assassin herself looking as if she has been punched in the gut now, “maybe don’t piss the trained killer off too much?”

Helena doesn’t look pissed off though, Dinah observes, she looks quite hurt instead; and her crossbow is still pointing at the ground, not at them again, so she figures this is a good sign, even though she knows it will just take Helena the blink of an eye to bring it back up.

“I won’t kill you”, Helena says after another moment, and Dinah isn’t sure if she’s heard the tremble in her voice or if she has imagined it, “but you’ve pissed off Mario Rossi. Remember that name. He’ll send someone else who won’t have problems finishing the job.”

She slings the crossbow onto her back, a clear signal that she means it, and turns to walk off; Renee still has the gun aimed at her though, and keeps it aimed, her own voice firm, but cold when calls out to her.

“You know people like you are who we are going after, right”, she wants to know, Dinah still too angry to feel very shocked about this unveiled challenge; Helena stops, then looks back at them, and suddenly she looks so tired and  _ done _ that Dinah’s anger evaporates, it’s as if she doesn’t care the slightest that Renee just has more or less threatened to shoot her.

“Do what you have to do”, Helena says, only confirming this further; Renee blinks, clearly not having expected this, and lets it happen that Dinah reaches over and pushes her gun down, Helena not looking back again as she keeps walking, until she rounds the corner up ahead and is out of sight. 

Dinah has suspected that Helena isn’t happy doing this, but now she knows for sure, and even though the woman has been hired to kill both Renee and her, she can’t feel angry anymore now, feeling nothing but sympathy and suddenly wishing she could take back what she has said, all too aware that she might not have another chance to do so.

* * *

By the time Helena makes it back to her place, she feels like throwing up, her heart is racing in her chest and she’s sweating, she can’t believe this just has happened.

They had given her no details about the Birds of Prey when she had been given the job, and now, Helena wonders if this has been on purpose, if it has been some sort of test of her loyalty; she doesn’t know how much of the fight at the amusement park that night is public knowledge, if the men who have raised her know she has fought side by side with these women and have picked that job specifically to see how she will react or if they have no idea and just have sent her because the job is paying well and because Rossi has been a friend of the Bertinelli family.

If they are aware that the Birds of Prey are not just random vigilantes, but the women Helena has fought side by side with three months ago, Helena knows she’s in big trouble; she’d be in trouble even if they didn’t know, not finishing a job like this, but if they are aware, they will know at once why the job hasn’t been done.

“Shit, shit, shit”, she angrily mutters to herself, talking to herself has always been a habit of hers and it has only increased in the last three months, “this is fucked up. What a mess. Shit.”

She sits down heavily on the sofa of the place she is now living in, a small apartment which she can easily afford with the money she makes working for her adoptive fathers, and rests her head in her hands, feeling close to throwing up again, her mind racing as she has no idea what to do now.

She still has time, she tells herself, she has only taken the job a few days ago; the men who have raised her are used to her finishing her jobs quickly, but she figures she can get away with not reporting the job as done for another two or three days, they haven’t given her much information after all and she can claim she is still working on finding the vigilantes without it looking suspicious.

Helena knows this won’t work forever though, sooner or later, Rossi will get impatient and so will the men who have connected him to her, if she delivers no results; for a moment, she considers to just leave town, she has managed to put some money aside by now and while it’s not much, it should be enough to get her into the next state, at least, it’d be a start, she tells herself, and once she’s out of Gotham, she can figure out how to make more so she can leave the country.

_ They will send someone else _ , a small voice whispers from the back of her mind, the same voice which has gotten her to agree to help out Harley and the others at the amusement park and the voice which keeps telling her that what she is doing now isn’t right, her conscience, perhaps, she darkly thinks to herself,  _ someone who won’t have problems to kill them. Kill Renee, and Dinah. _

Unbidden, an image flashes through of her mind, of Dinah lying in some dingy side alley with her throat cut, empty eyes staring up into nothingness; her breath quickens again, and she squeezes her eyes shut in an attempt to chase the image away, running shaky hands through her hair.

This isn’t the first time she’s having a panic attack, she figures it’s not surprising she has them every now and then, what with her baggage; they have been increasing in the last few weeks, and while she recognizes the symptoms, she doesn’t know how to stop them, only how to lessen their impact.

Quickly, Helena comes to her feet again, dropping her jacket to the ground as she walks to the window and pulls it open; the fresh air helps, as it usually does, and she forces herself to take in slow, controlled breaths, this helps too, she knows, but it doesn’t stop the dark train of thought her mind has jumped to.

_ You can’t let that happen _ , she tells herself, taking in another deep breath,  _ you can’t let anyone hurt her. Them. You have to make sure they’ll be fine. _

She knows this will put her in the line of fire for sure, if she goes against someone else Rossi might send, the men who have raised her will know for sure that she has betrayed them, but she can’t stand the thought of someone hurting Dinah, the woman has been the first to show her any sort of kindness in years, and she won’t let anyone hurt her. 

It will put her into the line of fire, but Helena doesn’t care, and as a vague plan begins to form in her mind, the panic subsides - she’s endangering herself, she knows, but she feels like she is finally doing the right thing, after months during which she has been sure that what she is doing is wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Dinah, harsh.


	5. Chapter 5

“So what are we gonna do”, Dinah says, unaware that right in this moment, a certain assassin quietly decides to risk everything for Renee and for her; Renee gives her a blank look, and she sighs, finding it hard to believe that Renee really doesn’t know what she is talking about.

“About Helena”, she thus clarifies, frowning when Renee just keeps looking at her with that neutral expression; after a moment, the former cop shrugs, Dinah’s face darkening further at her response.

“Do you think there is anything we can do?” she asks, and while Dinah doesn’t want to admit it, she fears Renee might be making a good point, “she’s made her choice. If we’re lucky, she won’t change her mind about killing us, honestly, I don’t want to go up against her.”

“Well me neither”, Dinah says, making a face, she has seen Helena fight and really doesn’t want to be on the receiving end of that crossbow, “but… I’m not sure sure it was much of a choice for her, you know.”

Renee raises an eyebrow at this, and Dinah feels the need to elaborate - perhaps, she ponders, she’s reading too much into the look she has seen on Helena’s face earlier, but she never has seen anyone look so exhausted and simply unhappy, and she just can’t forget that, the contrast between the Helena she has met at the amusement park and the assassin who has let them go hours earlier so stark that she can barely believe it’s the same person.

“Think about it”, she thus says, trying to find the right words to explain the despair she is sure to have seen in Helena’s eyes, “Harley said she crashed her bike when she whipped her. If we had found her on the way to the harbour, I don’t think she would be doing this now, have you seen the look on her face? And it’s not like we’re in the phone book so she could have easily found us, she might have thought there is nothing else she can do…”

“Perhaps”, Renee has to admit, part of her has been fairly certain that they would find Huntress on the way to the harbour after the woman had rushed off on her bike to help Harley, “and you’re right, she didn’t look like she’s happy when she left. But I’m not sure there is much we can do, except for being on the lookout, cause I’m sure she was right when she said that guy would send someone else after us.”

“Mario Rossi”, Dinah remembers, Renee making a face at the name, signalling it is not unknown to her, “you know anything about him?”

“Not much”, the former cop has to admit, “he’s always been good at staying off the radar when I was still at GCPD. No surprise, if he hires assassins to do his dirty work for him. He did have good connections to the Bertinelli family though before the whole massacre thing happened.”

“Of course he did”, Dinah mumbles, sighing to herself, “so this will end up being personal? Once he finds out she didn’t actually kill us?”

“...probably”, Renee says, looking worried now as well, fully realizing the danger Helena might have put herself in by refusing to hurt them, “if he finds out. But even if he has no idea, he’ll get impatient at some point, he’ll want to see results. Either way, we’re fucked and so might Helena be.”

“There has to be some way we can contact her”, Dinah says, more to herself than to the former cop, “maybe Harley will know, she still has ties to the less honest sides of Gotham, doesn’t she. Maybe someone she knows will know about this new assassin in town and how to find her.”

“Ask her, then”, Renee says, and Dinah is almost relieved, halfway having expected Renee to tell her that she doesn’t care, that Helena has made her bed and now has to lie in it, “but don’t get your hopes up. Assassins for hire aren’t known for being very social.”

“I have to do  _ something _ ”, Dinah lets her know, not really surprising her, and she has her suspicions why Dinah is so worried about this, but she knows better than to say those out loud, “she could have taken us both down and you know it, but she didn’t. She doesn’t want any of this, I’m sure of it, but if she needs help to realize this, to get out… We can’t just ignore that.”

“Good luck with that if you find her”, Renee says, and Dinah is somewhat surprised at that, as she partly has been expecting Renee to agree with her, “she’s been raised for fifteen years to be an assassin, and they probably told her she has to work for them once she is done with her quest for vengeance. Gonna be hard to get through that kind of indoctrination.”

“Well, we do know a psychiatrist, don’t we”, Dinah reminds her, a bit snippily perhaps, but she can’t quite help herself, even though she feels a bit bad when Renee raises her brows at her tone, “maybe she can help. And maybe she can help us finding her, too, I’ll call her right now.”

“You do that”, Renee says with a small sigh, and Dinah wonders if she would have tried to talk her out of this, had she been someone else, someone who Renee knows not to be stubborn the way she is; then, she shrugs it off and grabs her phone, dialling Harley’s number, glad when the call is taken quickly.

“Harley”, she says, deciding not to beat around the bush for long, “we need your help. We need to find Helena, and we might need your psychiatrist skills once we have found her.”

“Okay and okay”, Harley says at once, to the singer’s immense relief, “I’ll keep my ears open. Don’t get your hopes up though, I have been working on a little project called  _ Find Huntress _ on my own and so far, I have not been very successful.”

“Why do you want to find her”, Dinah wants to know, suddenly suspicious, “you don’t want to hire her so she’ll kill your dumb ex, right.”

“Woman, if anyone kills that motherfucker, it’ll be me”, Harley tells her at once, and Dinah is a bit relieved, “no, I want to find her because she helped me… us… out at that amusement park, and now I want to return the favour.”

“Okay”, Dinah decides to accept this for now, Harley sounds sincere enough and she knows that she never would have made it to the pier in time if it hadn’t been for Helena and her bike, “we’ll keep each other updated then. Let me know when you find out anything.”

“Same goes for you”, Harley says, “and take care, you really pissed off the boss of that drug lord.”

“Believe me, I know”, Dinah sighs, doesn’t elaborate though, doesn’t tell Harley that Helena has actually been hired to kill Renee and her; Harley lets out a vaguely agreeing noise, making her wonder if she already knows, anyway, but she doesn’t ask, simply says goodbye instead and ends the call.

“So?” Renee wants to know, and Dinah shrugs, then tells her the outcome of that call; it’s not all too positive, but at least Harley has agreed to help, and she figures that’s worth something, telling herself that it’s going to be alright despite how hard she right now finds it to believe this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helena might not be aware of it yet, but she does have people in her corner now. :D


	6. Chapter 6

When Dinah and Renee go out again in the next evening, they are hyper-aware of their surroundings; Dinah doesn’t believe that Helena will come back to finish the job after all, but that doesn’t mean Rossi hasn’t already hired someone else to do so, and the last thing any of them needs is a bullet in the back. 

They have gotten another lead, apparently, Rossi has recovered quickly from the blow they have dealt him and is already supplying again; and Ellen has tipped Renee off about a deal going down, once again at the train station, it seems as if the man either doesn’t care that he has suffered a setback there before or he’s confident that the Birds of Prey soon won’t be a problem anymore.

At least, Dinah thinks to herself as they sneak up to the where the distribution will happen, they are already familiar with the area; nothing has been changed since the last time they have been here, and they use the same cover, Renee pulling on her brass knuckles before she gives Dinah a questioning look. 

The singer nods in response, and they both tense before they step into view, ready to fight; the man Rossi has sent takes one look at them - and smirks, and suddenly, Dinah just knows that this is a big mistake, that they have walked right into a trap, like complete beginners and total fools.

“I knew you would show up”, he declares, grinning now while the men he has brought bring out their weapons, “walked right into the trap, too, tell me, how did you last so long if you are so easily lured?”

They dive back behind cover just as the men start firing, but while this for the moment shields them from the bullets, Dinah knows they are in trouble - they are stuck now, unable to get away without the risk of being shot, and judging from how Renee looks at her wide-eyed, the former cop knows this, too.

“Shit”, Dinah whispers, earning a quick nod from the other woman, “I can use my cry, but if that doesn’t take all of them down, I won’t be able to help afterwards…”

“And I can’t carry your ass to the car”, Renee points out, “but it might be our only shot to get out of this, they got us cornered…”

“What the fuck!” one of the men suddenly shouts, and Dinah and Renee exchange a confused look, not sure what that means now, the men should have been happy to have them cornered like this, but instead the sounds startled, almost shocked, “who just--”

He lets out a gurgle and falls silent, and Dinah dares to peek past their cover, eager to find out what is going on; and so, she looks just in time to see another man fall, the third one who goes down, clutching at his neck as he hits the ground.

Even with his hand there, Dinah can see the crossbow bolt, and at the overjoyed smile she responds with, Renee gives her a confused look, not having an idea what is going on.

Another guy goes down, and that finally allows the rest to pinpoint where Helena is standing; they start firing, but she’s already gone, vanishing into the shadows with ease, the men shouting at each other as they try to figure out where she has gone.

The distraction Helena has provided gives Renee a chance to use her own gun though, and she does so, taking two more guys down; now, they are torn between going after the Birds of Prey and after Helena, and the moment of hesitation this causes for the remaining three guys is what costs another two their lives.

The last one standing runs, zig-zagging this way and that, and even managing to avoid a bolt this way; he rounds the corner up ahead and is out of sight, and Dinah lets out a heavy breath, her heart beginning to race now that the action is actually over and the danger they have been in begins to settle.

“Helena?” she then calls out, coming to her feet and glancing around, heart sinking when she can’t spot the assassin anywhere, but she figures she still has been close, she has fired that last bolt not even ten seconds ago, “Helena! Where are you?! Come on, you saved our asses, you can at least say Hi!”

There’s no response, and Renee frowns as she reloads her gun, just in case; Dinah waits a few more seconds, giving Helena a chance to answer, then mirrors Renee’s expression, raising her voice once more though, not willing to give up just yet.

“Huntress!” she tries with the assassin’s chosen name this time, glancing around as if Helena might magically appear right in front of her, “come on! We’re good, I promise!”

“Give it up”, Renee sighs, holstering her gun again as the danger is for now over, “she’s gone. Come on, let’s collect those bolts, least we can do after she’s saved our hides is make sure no one connects her to this.”

Dinah nods, relieved at hearing this, so far, Renee hasn’t seemed all too concerned about Helena and her well-being - but then, Dinah figures, she can’t blame her, perhaps her own view of the assassin is a bit clouded by the attraction she has felt right away, already back at the amusement park, but on the other hand, Helena  _ has _ just saved them, so Renee is right and this is the least they can do.

It’s a bit gross to pull the bolts from the dead bodies, and harder than Dinah has thought it would be, but they do get them all, even the one which has missed and is stuck in the ground; she grimaces at the blood this leaves on her hands, but it has to be done, Helena has helped them out and if this will help with hiding this from Rossi and anyone else who should not know about this, Dinah can deal with some blood on her fingers.

As they remove bolts from dead bodies and make sure there is no evidence left behind which connects Helena to this, they are perfectly unaware of Helena watching them do so from the shadows; she’s aching to step forward, to show herself and to say Hi as Dinah has said, but she can’t bring herself to do so.

They both know what she has become after all, they know she’s a murderer for hire now, and while they might be thankful right in this moment that she has helped them, Helena is sure that this will fade and that they will feel nothing but disgust and contempt for her, and she knows she can’t face that, she just can’t, she can’t look at Dinah and be met with scorn.

_ What the fuck are you gonna do next, gun down some family? _

So, Helena remains where she is, and watches them, even though it makes her heart ache; and even after they have left, she stays for a while longer, not quite ready to head back to her empty, quiet home, thinking of Dinah calling out to her and of how much hearing this voice has felt like home.

Without thinking, she reaches up and wipes her eyes, and only when her hand comes away wet, she becomes aware of the tears drying on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Helena :( It's gonna be okay though, I promise.


	7. Chapter 7

During the next few nights, it becomes clear that Rossi is out to have them killed, one way or another, apparently, he has lost patience with Huntress and has hired others to do the job; whenever Dinah and Renee go out, his guys seem to be there, ambushing them just when they get done with a smaller gang or already there when they arrive, the way they seem to know each night where they will be driving both Renee and Dinah crazy as they try to figure out how his guys can know that.

Not only are they there too, though, but Helena is, as well; they never manage to actually catch sight of her, but every time they run into Rossi’s men, crossbow bolts take down several of them, often taking care of two or three of the guys before they even realize what is happening.

And each night Helena is there, Dinah calls out to her once the men have been taken down, asks her to show herself, to come with them, to join them; Helena never does, but Dinah refuses to give up, and after the fourth night, Renee adds her voice, telling her she wants to thank her in person for saving her skin more than once at this point.

“Dammit”, Dinah grumbles as yet another night draws to a close without the assassin having come out of her all too good cover, fighting the urge to angrily kick one of the men Helena has taken down, “why won’t she just join us? How many more times do we have to tell her we’re good?”

Renee just shrugs, not sure what to respond to this; Dinah lets out another sigh as she pulls another bolt from a dead body, they got quite the collection of those by now, as neither Renee, nor Dinah herself are sure if they should just throw them out or if Helena might be able to reuse them, should she ever actually join them, and it feels oddly wrong to Dinah to just throw them away - they are the only thing connecting her to Helena right now, after all, and will be until the assassin does decide to join them.

She pulls another bolt from a lifeless body, and just then, the headlights of a car light up the area outside the warehouse where they have fought this night; Renee grabs her arm in alarm, and they both hurry to find cover behind some large crates, it’s not perfect, but it’s better than nothing.

The engine outside dies down, and so do the lights; Dinah hears car doors open and close and exchanges a look with Renee, wondering if this is another trap, if Helena is still around and if she’ll help them out once more, or if she has left already, having thought that the night’s fighting is done.

“...said they’d hit them here”, a male voice says, growing louder as the one speaking enters the warehouse, accompanied by several more pairs of footsteps, “but, well, look at this. More dead bodies. Fucking Hell, how can two women take down so many of us?”

“Don’t think it’s just the two”, another voice comments, “look at this. You seen this before, no?”

“Holy shit”, the first voice says, and Dinah feels her blood run cold at what he says next, realizing they haven’t had time to get all the bolts, “the Huntress? Really? She’s helping them out? We need to tell the boss about this, he thinks she--”

He stops talking abruptly, and the sound of a body hitting the ground mixes with shocked voices shouting; then, there is gunfire, and the gurgles Dinah by now knows are caused by a crossbow bolt hitting a throat, and she feels relieved when she realizes Helena is still there.

“Think she needs our help?” Renee whispers, wondering if those guys actually know they are still here; Dinah has to admit she has no idea, shrugging helplessly, but the gunfire continues and the bolts seem to have stopped, and she realizes that Helena has taken quite a few men down already before this new group has arrived and now might be out of ammunition, there’s only so many bolts she can bring with her for one evening.

“She might be out”, she thus whispers back to Renee, the former cop grimacing, “cover me!”

Renee doesn’t look happy, but she nods, and draws her gun; she takes in a deep breath, then leans around the crate and starts firing, distracting the two men left standing enough so Dinah can rush them from the other side, both of them so focused on Renee that they don’t even see her coming. 

She takes one down with a perfect jump kick, a low “ooff” coming from him as he hits the ground; the other one spins to face her, but she ducks down before he can do more than that and swipes his legs out from underneath him, following this with a blow to the head before he can recover, and they both lie still, the other two already dead, adding to the bunch of knocked out or killed guys on the floor.

“Okay”, Renee grumps, holstering her gun again as she comes out of cover to join Dinah, glancing around, “let’s hope this is it for today, honestly, I’m done with Rossi’s guys ambushing us. Also, Helena’s up there on that walkway or whatever the fuck that is somewhere, I saw the bolts come from there.”

Dinah doesn’t bother calling out again, this hasn’t worked so far and she figures it won’t work now; and so, instead of saying anything, she hops onto the crate they have been using for cover, Renee watching how she climbs up onto the walkway, not following her though, figuring she’ll have better chances if it’s just her, she has noticed the way the two have looked at each other already back at the Booby Trap.

For a moment, Dinah can’t spot anyone up there, and starts to worry that Renee either has been wrong or that Helena has left in the short amount of time - and just when her heart starts to sink, she spots the taller woman, Helena sitting with her back against the wall, the crossbow on the walkway next to her.

“Helena”, Dinah says, and Helena looks at her, the singer figures she must have heard her come up here, but only looks at her now as she says her name, and as their eyes meet, Dinah finds herself at a loss for words, she’s never seen anyone look so tired as Helena looks right in this second.

“Hey”, she says, taking another step closer, not quite sure what to say now, “thanks for your help the past few days, Renee and I…”

She has been planning to say that Renee and she really appreciate it and that there are no hard feelings; and just then, another car drives by, not stopping this time but going right past, and the headlights fall onto Helena and her, just for a few seconds.

Just for a few seconds, but long enough for Dinah to see the blood, and her eyes go wide as she falls silent at once.

“Shit”, she then manages, rushing the last few steps, and kneeling down next to Helena, “shit, you’re hurt! Renee, she’s hurt!”

She takes careful hold of Helena’s wrist and moves her hand from where it has been resting against her side; there’s a bullet hole in her shirt beneath it, and blood is seeping from it, Dinah looking up from the wound and at the assassin with wide, shocked eyes.

“Lucky hit”, Helena mumbles, and Dinah curses herself for not having noticed this sooner, but then, it is quite dark in here, and the blood is barely visible on Helena’s black clothing; she gives her another worried look, then calls out to Renee again, while Helena lets her head slump back against the wall and tries to breathe through the pain, the way she has been taught.

“Bullet wound”, Dinah is telling Renee, “call Harley, tell her to meet us at my place. Helena? No passing out, you hear?”

“I’m fine”, Helena says, of all things, and Dinah doesn’t even dignify that with an answer; she just raises her eyebrows, then points out that they have to get her down from that walkway somehow, ideally without making the wound worse and without dropping her, and calls out to Renee again for help, glad when Helena doesn’t protest, the assassin just sitting there, watching how Renee climbs up onto the walkway as well.

“Harley’s on her way”, she states, making Dinah nod, “come on Crossbow, let’s get you to the car.”

Once again Helena doesn’t protest, but lets it happen that Renee and Dinah move so she ends up between them and help her to her feet; this increases the pain again, but she grits her teeth against it, telling herself it will be fine, surprisingly steady on her feet as the two women help her down from the walkway and to Renee’s car so she can get the help she needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only Helena Bertinelli would say "I'm fine" while bleeding from an actual bullet wound.


	8. Chapter 8

Quite a while later, Dinah regrets that her apartment is somewhat small, and her regret does not stem from the fact that the place is somewhat cramped, with Helena, Renee, Harley and she herself there - it’s caused by the fact that she has retreated to the kitchen, and even though Harley has shoved a wad of cloth into Helena’s mouth before she has begun her work, Dinah can still hear her yelp in pain every now and then.

“Hey”, Renee distracts her from her dismay as she enters the kitchen, closing the door behind herself again, but it still has been open long enough for Dinah to hear another cry of pain all too clearly, “you got anything strong here? Vodka, whisky, disinfectant?”

“Harley’s gonna need the disinfectant”, Dinah says, flinching when Helena yelps again in the living room, “and shit, what is Harley doing to her out there? It sounds like she’s butchering her, not helping her.”

“Apparently digging out a bullet is hard when you do it on someone’s couch”, Renee says, and Dinah feels sick all over again, “but she keeps swearing she can see it and almost has it.”

“Shit”, Dinah says feelingly, then opens on of her kitchen cupboards and pulls an unopened bottle of whisky from it, “here, we might both need this now. Shit, poor Helena.”

She finds two glasses and pours them each a drink, Renee gulping hers down in one go while Dinah opts for slower sips; she’s tempted to just knock it back as well though when she hears Helena groan again, briefly closing her eyes as she reminds herself that Harley is doing her best and that her couch truly isn’t the best spot for such a procedure.

“Got it!” Harley shouts from the living room, making them both jump, “Helena, you wanna keep that as a souvenir?”

“Fuck you”, they hear Helena bite back, and Renee smiles a bit at this; Dinah gives her a questioning look, and the former cop shrugs, still smiling slightly as she explains the reason for her amusement.

“She’s gonna be fine”, she says, “if she’s still coherent and strong enough to cuss Harley out like that.”

“Of course she’ll be fine”, Harley calls out to them, “I’m good at this! Now hold still Huntress, so I can stitch you up.”

Dinah figures that it is safe now to go back to the living room, feeling bad that both Renee and she have left; Helena doesn’t seem to hold it against her though, their eyes meeting when she steps up to the couch, the assassin even managing a small smile despite the pain and exhaustion Dinah can easily read in her eyes.

“Hey”, Dinah says, moving so that she actually blocks Helena’s view of Harley as the former psychiatrist starts stitching her up, Helena wincing at the pain; feeling bad for her, telling herself that Helena wouldn’t even have been at that place if she hasn’t been looking out for Renee and her, Dinah crouches next to the couch and grasps her hand, relieved when Helena doesn’t try to pull away from her touch.

“Harley’s almost done”, she says, not sure what else she can say, she wants to talk about what Helena has been doing, but not with Harley in the room, she figures it should just be the two of them for that, “then we’ll bandage you up and then you can get some rest. No offense, but you look tired as fuck.”

“Right, I see how it is”, Harley says conversationally, thankfully not looking away from her task, “when it comes to digging out the bullet and doing the stitches, that is all on me, but the relatively easy task of bandaging up, that is a  _ we _ thing again.”

“It’s called teamwork”, Dinah lightly says, and to her relief and gladness, Helena manages another small smile at this; Harley lets out a “prrrrt” sound and Dinah is fairly certain she is poking her tongue out, too, but she doesn’t look, keeping her gaze on Helena instead.

“It’ll be alright”, she quietly says, and she’s not just talking about the injury; and from how Helena swallows heavily and looks away, she knows, too, Dinah giving her hand a gentle squeeze to reassure her it’s alright, no matter how hard she finds it to believe this right now.

* * *

A while later, Helena is bandaged up, covered with a spare blanket Dinah has found for her and sleeping; Harley insists on taking the bullet she has removed, and Dinah lets her, she would have tossed it and doesn’t really care what happens to it.

“Step outside with me for a moment?” Harley says once she washed her hands and has pocketed the bullet, keeping her voice low so she won’t wake Helena up again; Dinah nods, too curious to decline, and steps outside the apartment with Harley, she figures it makes sense to do so, her apartment isn’t big enough to let them talk somewhere without danger of waking Helena up.

“You know how to deal with panic attacks?” Harley asks, in a tone so conversational that she might as well have been asking about the weather; Dinah can only blink, then slowly says “no…?”, and Harley nods, as if she has expected this.

“No biggie”, she says, smiling brightly at the singer, “I’ll teach you. First you’ll need to recognize it when it actually happens. Quick breathing is a good sign, might go up to hyperventilating, but do try to stop that before it goes that far. You might have to say her name a few times, but don’t just touch her out of nowhere, that might only make it worse.”

“Just to be clear”, Dinah throws in when Harley pauses for a breath, “you are talking about Helena, right. You worry she’ll have a panic attack at some point?”

“I don’t worry, I know she will have”, Harley replies matter-of-factly, “her childhood trauma alone is enough to cause them, and now she’ll have the added guilt of having betrayed the men who have raised her.”

“She didn’t betray anyone!” Dinah protests sharply, and Harley rolls her eyes, then shrugs, gesturing vaguely at the closed door, surprisingly patient despite the eyeroll when she replies.

“Perhaps not”, she says, “but she’ll feel like she has. So once you realize she’s having one, you gotta make sure to get her to focus on you. Help her get her breathing to slow down, maybe make an effort to breathe slowly so she can mimic you. Touch her, if she says it’s okay, tell her to focus on that. Alright?”

“Okay, yeah, I can do that”, Dinah agrees, it doesn’t sound too hard after all, “anything else I should know?”

“That’s pretty much it”, Harley tells her, and she feels relieved, “call me in case you feel anything gets out of hand or if you can’t get her to calm down, I’ll be nearby. The injury is fine, hit nothing vital, gonna heal up nicely.”

“Thanks”, Dinah says, earning another bright smile, “for… all your help. I’ll call you in case anything… I don’t know, weird happens.”

“You do that, doll”, Harley tells her, and while Dinah normally doesn’t appreciate it to be called  _ doll _ , she lets it slide this time, after how helpful Harley has been, “take good of care of her. She can need a friend in her corner now.”   


Dinah just nods, not making a comment on how she wouldn’t mind being more than a friend to Helena; she figures the assassin will have other things on her mind now, that now is not the time to make any sort of move, all Helena needs now is a good friend and Dinah is determined to be this for her.

Harley gives her another smile, then once again reminds her to call her, should anything happen; and then, once Dinah has nodded again, she takes her leave while Dinah walks back inside, glad to find Helena still fast asleep on her couch, hoping that nothing will disturb the assassin’s slumber as she knows Helena can need all the rest she can get right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank goodness for Harley and her knowledge :)


	9. Chapter 9

_ “What are the rules. Tell me.”  
_ _ “You teach me”, Helena says, voice carefully controlled and even, despite the blood she can feel trickle down her face, “you train me. Everything you know.”  
_ _ “Everything you need to know”, he agrees, circling her, but she doesn’t turn her head to look at him, she knows he doesn’t like that, “and when you are done? With your vengeance?”  
_ _ “I work for you.” She doesn’t say it loud enough for his liking, and he punches her in the back, right above the kidneys, and it hurts, it always hurts, he knows where to hit her so it hurts, but she makes no sound, only pulls in a sharp breath.  
_ _ “I work for you”, she repeats, louder this time, and he nods, moving to face her again; his fist shoots out, fast and unexpected, but she has been training with them for years now, and blocks the punch, and he nods again.  
_ _ “You work for us”, he confirms, “until your debt is paid.”  
_ _ Until her debt is paid.   
_ _ She doesn’t know how big that debt is gonna be, but fifteen years is a long time.  
_ _ She wonders if she’ll ever actually be able to repay it. _

“Helena”, she hears as the last bits of the dream, of the memory, fade, but it has been a vivid dream, so vivid she can almost still feel the blood on her face and the pain in her back, “Helena? You here with me?”

It’s Dinah, she realizes, and now the memories of the previous evening come flooding back, how she has helped Renee and Dinah, has been shot, how Dinah has found her and has brought her to her home, Harley removing the bullet and stitching her up and then Dinah covering her with a blanket, concerned, but kind, not looking at her with contempt or disgust.

She almost feels frightened to open her eyes, because the way Dinah looks at her might have changed by now, but her voice sounds worried and kind at least, and so, Helena dares to look after all, relieved when concerned, warm eyes meet her own and Dinah gives her a little smile.

“Hey”, the singer says, and belatedly, Helena realizes that Dinah’s hand is resting on hers, it perhaps should worry her she hasn’t picked up on that, she’s a trained assassin and should have woken up at being touched, but then, she reasons, she has been shot the previous night, and hasn’t been sleeping well for quite a while now, “how’re you feeling?”

“Okay”, Helena replies at once, the wound does hurt, but it’s nothing she can’t handle; Dinah looks sceptical, doesn’t question her hthough, even though she looks alarmed when Helena sits up, her alarm only growing at the way Helena briefly makes a face, just for a second before she has her features under control again, but long enough to let Dinah notice.

“Okay”, she thus says, deciding at once she won’t have any of that, “you were shot yesterday. I know you’re not okay. And I know you’re in pain, don’t hide that. Not from me.”

“A true assassin never shows pain”, Helena responds, and from how she recites the words, Dinah can tell at once they have been part of her training, have been ingrained into her mind, along with God knew what else, “it’s a weakness, and a true assassin is never weak.”

“Well, you don’t have to be an assassin around here”, Dinah tells her, apparently catching her somewhat off-guard as she looks at her in surprise, “you can just be Helena Bertinelli. And I’m your friend, you can show a friend when you’re in pain.”

“You’re not my friend”, Helena flatly replies, and Dinah can only blink, not having expected that the slightest, “why would you be? You barely know me. But you know what I have been doing. You know I’ve been hired to kill you. Why would you say you’re my friend?”   


“And I know you’re not happy doing that”, Dinah tells her, deciding she can be just as blunt, Helena’s gaze dropping to her feet as she suddenly finds it hard to look at her, “no offense, but you look like shit. Have even before you got shot. I saw that look on your face when you left that night, and you could have killed us both then, Renee and me, and we both know that.”

“I couldn’t”, Helena manages, voice barely above a whisper now, still staring at her feet, “I should have but I couldn’t, and they’ll have found out by now, they’ll know I’ve been helping you guys…”

She falls silent as her breath quickens, and Dinah remembers at once what Harley has told her, momentarily shocked at how well Harley actually has predicted this would happen; her first instinct is to put her arm around Helena, but she also remembers what Harley has said about touching the assassin without warning, and so, she ignores the urge, but moves to kneel in front of her, so that she is in her field of view. 

“Helena”, she says, making sure to sound kind and calm, not wanting to upset her further, “I know what is happening, it’s gonna be okay. Look at me, can you do that for me?”

Even through the cloudy haze of the growing panic, Helena hears Dinah’s voice and her words, and somehow, she manages to do what she has asked, and manages to look at her; Dinah gives her a calming smile, then asks if it’s okay for her touch her, and Helena manages a terse nod, one of the singer’s hands clasping hers a moment later while the other moves to rub her back.

“Air”, Helena manages, struggling to keep her breathing under control, “I need… window…”

Dinah catches on quickly and nods, helping Helena to her feet, keeping one arm around her as she is still mindful of the fact that the woman has taken a bullet the night before; they make their way to the window a bit slower than Helena perhaps would have liked, but they do make it, and she stays on her feet, thankful when Dinah opens the window for her so she can breathe in the fresh air, the singer still having one arm around her, just in case.

“There”, she says, glad when Helena’s hectic breathing slows down a bit again, “better?”

Helena manages a short nod, taking in another deep breath, holding on to the windowsill with one hand; the other goes to her side as another twinge of pain flashes from the wound, Dinah giving her an unhappy look, but doesn’t say anything, being at the window seems to help a lot, so she doesn’t have the heart to tell Helena that she go sit or lie back down, not yet.

She starts rubbing her back instead, startled at how tense Helena is, it feels as if she’s running her hand over solid rock; she can feel the assassin relax a bit at her touch though, and figures that has to be a good sign, glad when Helena looks at her after just breathing in the crisp morning air for another minute.

“...thank you”, the assassin says as their eyes meet, and Dinah smiles at her, her hand still on the taller woman’s back; she shrugs, still rubbing soothing circles, still making sure to sound kind and calm when she responds.

“Nothing to thank me for”, she lightly tells Helena, “that’s what friends are here for, right?”

“...yeah”, Helena mumbles after a moment, earning another smile from the singer, “I guess so.”

Dinah just gives her another smile, then leads her back to the couch, and when Helena sits down somewhat heavily, she doesn’t try to hide the grimace anymore, Dinah holding back the urge to raise her fists in triumph as she knows what a big and important step they just have taken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helena, don't be rude.


	10. Chapter 10

A short while later, Dinah has supplied Helena with some water and chicken soup - she’s fairly certain chicken soup won’t do much good against a bullet wound, but then, it has been what her mother always has fed her when she has been unwell, and old habits die hard - and the assassin is eating slowly as she sits on the couch; Dinah has dragged over one of the kitchen chairs and is watching her, not quite sure how to start the conversation they need to have, but knowing it is necessary, if only so Helena will be more calm and relaxed around her.

“So”, she finally does say, Helena glancing up at her from how she has been staring at the bowl of soup with a bit more concentration than perhaps strictly necessary, “thanks. For saving our asses the past few nights.”

Helena pauses for a moment, then sighs and puts the still half full bowl down, apparently having lost her appetite, something which is confirmed further by how her gaze darkens.

“I know you put yourself in danger, doing that”, Dinah adds, “and I really appreciate that. Renee does too, even if she might not show it that much. And… I’m really sorry for what I said that one night. About… you know. Gunning down.”

“Can’t blame you”, Helena mumbles, Dinah making a face, still feeling bad for having said that, especially considering that exactly this has happened to Helena when she’s been little, “but… that hurt, you know. And I can’t even say I never would have taken such a job, because I took the job to go after you, and I knew you guys are vigilantes, I knew and I still took it...”

She falls silent and takes in a heavy breath, and for a moment, Dinah fears another panic attack is coming, and already is preparing to help her through it again, making a mental note to call Harley and ask if she should be worried at the frequency they seem to be happening.

Instead, Helena starts to cry, and that shocks Dinah even more than another panic attack could have.

It’s not a dramatic sort of crying, no heavy sobs or loud sniffling; the tears roll down her cheeks and she makes not a single sound, and Dinah’s heart breaks as she hurriedly gets up from her seat and moves to hug her, feeling the assassin stiffen in her arms for a moment before she practically slumps into her embrace.

“I’m sorry”, the assassin says, sounding so choked up that it seems almost painful for her to talk, “I’m so sorry, I never should… I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, it’s fine”, Dinah reassures her, just eager to make her feel better, she never would have thought the tough, hardened assassin would crumble like this in her arms, “we understand, it’s not your fault.”

Now, Helena does let out a quiet sniffle, and Dinah’s heart breaks all over again; she pulls her closer still, and holds her and rubs her back, and tries to not start crying as well when she feels the taller woman’s tears soak her shirt.

“Dammit, we should have found you”, she mumbles, more to herself than to Helena, “none of this would have happened if we had just found you that night…”

“You tried to find me?” Helena wants to know at that, sounding so surprised that Dinah’s heart clenches up yet again; she nods at once, smiling when the assassin pulls back far enough to she can look at her, looking as surprised as she has sounded.

“Of course we did”, Dinah tells her, “we must have ended up taking a different road to the harbour or something, Harley told us you crashed your bike when you whipped her…”

“I did”, Helena confirms, making a face as she thinks back to her poor bike and the damage it had taken that night, “and I figured it’d take too long to get there on foot so I just… went back to the motel.”

“Damn”, Dinah says again, dismayed at how one little decision has caused so much pain for both of them, then pushing those negative emotions aside, telling herself that she has to look at the bright side of it all, if only so Helena won’t look so tired and sad anymore, “but hey, you know what? It doesn’t matter. Cause you found us again, and you’re here now.”

“I found you because I got hired to kill you guys”, Helena points out, clearly not willing to let herself off the hook for this anytime soon; Dinah just shrugs, making her blink, but at least the tears have stopped, so Dinah figures she is doing something right.

“You didn’t do it, though”, she points out, “and we both know you could have, if you had wanted to. And you did help us out every night after that.”

“Which only might have put you in bigger danger”, Helena sighs, making a face again, and not from pain this time, “they will have figured out by now that I’m helping you guys instead of having killed you. And once Rossi knows that, he will tell the guys in Sicily, and they’ll hire someone else to finish the job, and probably finish me, too.”

“They’re welcome to try”, Dinah replies, her confidence prompting Helena to raise an eyebrow, “the three of us, we can take anything they throw at us. Um… Once you’re healed, that is, I don’t want you to go out fighting people with a day old bullet wound.”

“You’re very forgiving about… all of this”, Helena points out, now finding it hard to look at her again, even though Dinah still has her arms around her and makes no move to end the embrace, “I’ve murdered people. For money. The last guy I went after, I shot him in while he was in the tub, not exactly a fair fight.”

“I would feel different if you’d been enjoying it”, Dinah tells her, the assassin making a face in response again, a clear sign that she has not been enjoying it, “but I could tell you’re not, when we ran into each other in that alley.”

“I’m not”, Helena mumbles, once again finding it hard to look at her, and part of her wonders why she is telling Dinah all this, she can’t remember ever having opened up to anyone like this before, but it’s easy with Dinah, even though this makes her vulnerable too and she has been taught that she never should show that sort of vulnerability, to no one, but still she can’t stop herself from talking, “but there’s nothing else I can do, and the guys who trained me, I owe them…”

She falls silent before she can reveal even more, before she can blurt out that she hasn’t slept well for weeks now, that her panic attacks have increased and that she sometimes cries and doesn’t know why; she can tell Dinah already pities her with the few things she has revealed, and that’s bad enough, she doesn’t want to look weak in front of her.

“You don’t owe those guys shit”, Dinah says, and Helena blinks in surprise, “and even if you had, you’ve killed a dozen people for them, that must be enough. And there is something else you can do, you can join us, fight with us, you know you’re amazing at kicking ass.”

Helena isn’t quite sure Renee will be happy with Dinah inviting her to the team like that, she remembers all too well how the former cop has looked at her, back in the alley; right in this moment though, she feels too tired to bring this up, she’s suddenly exhausted, the lack of sleep in combination with the bullet wound taking a toll on her.

“Get some rest”, Dinah quickly picks up on how fast Helena has gotten tired again, “you look exhausted. We can talk more about this later.”

Helena manages a nod, then yawns, Dinah smiling a bit as she takes the half eaten soup and carries it to the kitchen; and by the time she comes back, Helena is fast asleep again already, Dinah making sure to not make too much noise so she won’t wake her again, thinking about what Helena has told her and wondering what the assassin is keeping from her, quite sure that there is more to her mental state than what she has revealed so far.

Dinah’s fairly certain she’ll find out sooner or later though, and she hopes she’ll find the right words again then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Helena, but luckily, Dinah is there :)


	11. Chapter 11

Renee drops by in the evening, not only to see how Helena is doing, but also to talk about their next steps; now that Helena is injured on Dinah’s couch, they both figure she won’t be around for a while to save their asses, and they still have no idea how Rossi’s guys always just know where they’re gonna be.

“Hey Crossbow”, she casually greets Helena as she enters, and Helena feels slight relief, having been fairly certain Renee would ask Dinah why the cold blooded killer is still hanging around, and why she hasn’t kicked her out yet, bullet wound or no bullet wound, “how’re you doing?”

“Okay”, Helena replies with a shrug, she might show her pain to Dinah, but finds it harder to open up to Renee that way; the former cop gives her a sceptical look, doesn’t question her though, sitting in the chair Dinah has used earlier and thus more or less forcing the singer to sit next to Helena, not that Dinah minds much though, she has found the taller woman attractive already during the funhouse fight and that hasn’t changed since then.

_ Friend _ , she reminds herself again as Helena’s thigh brushes her own when the assassin moves a bit to give her more room,  _ you’re friends. And a friend is all she needs right now, not you lusting after her. _

“I talked to Ellen”, Renee gets straight to the point, not bothering to beat around the bush, “about how Rossi’s guys just keep finding us. We are getting many of our leads from her, so I asked her about her contacts.”

“You think someone is feeding her false leads to get us into those traps?” Dinah asks, not liking the thought much, but Helena is nodding along next to her, apparently having similar ideas, “a cop?”

“Probably”, Renee says with a small sigh, not happy about this, but she has suspected several of her colleagues to be dirty cops when she still has been working at GCPD, even though she never has been able to prove anything, “it wouldn’t surprise me if Rossi had a cop or two on his payroll.”

“More, probably”, Helena comments, making them both look at her, and for the first time feeling useful as she can contribute actual facts to this talk, “he… was close to my family, and I know we had almost a dozen. Maybe some of those started working for him when… well, you know.”

“Almost a dozen”, Renee repeats, shocked, Helena shrugging, feeling bad again now for obviously having upset her with saying this, “are you sure? I mean, no offense but you were kinda… young when that all went down.”

“I was the firstborn”, Helena points out in response, shrugging again, “I was supposed to take over, so my father started teaching me before I even started going to school. We’ve had a dozen.”

“You don’t happen to remember their names, do you”, Renee says, only half joking; Helena seems to take the question fully serious though, shaking her head and looking crestfallen, Renee immediately feeling bad.

“No, sorry”, the assassin says, and Renee is quick to reassure her that it’s okay; Helena still looks unhappy, then suddenly brightens though, both Dinah and Renee looking at her in surprise when she speaks up again.

“But we might be able to find out”, she says, “no one’s bought the Bertinelli house, right? There might be some hints there. If your friend can’t help you out.”

“Good thinking”, Renee says, choosing her words carefully as she doesn’t want to upset Helena, she has been a cop for a long time and is better at reading people than many realize, and it’s not hard for her to tell that Helena is not in a good place at the moment, “but we might not find much. No one’s bought that house, that’s right, but people have looked for that diamond and pretty much… tore it up.”

“Oh”, Helena lets out, “I didn’t think of that. Well, guess think it would have been too easy to just walk in there, open a drawer and there we go…”

“Still, good thinking”, Renee tells her, glad when Helena manages a slight smile while Dinah nods her agreement and briefly touches her arm, the touch not unnoticed by the former cop, “hopefully, Ellen can help us figure out who has been in contact with Rossi, she was reluctant at first to give away her contacts but when I told her what has been going on…”

“Yeah, it has to be someone giving her false info”, Dinah ponders out loud, “I would worry they are tracking us if they’d always shown up after we’ve arrived, but they have been around before we even got there, too, so they knew we’d be coming.”

“Probably both”, Helena tells them, shrugging again when Dinah looks nonplussed at the thought of someone having tracked them, “just to be on the safe side? And, no offense, but you wouldn’t know when someone’s tracking you, not if that person is good at their job.”

“Well, luckily we now got a badass assassin on our side”, Dinah tells her, glad when this earns her another small smile, “you’ll probably be able to tell someone’s tracking us while they’re still a mile away.”

“That might be an exaggeration”, Helena says, completely serious again, Renee smiling a bit at her tone, “but yeah, I’ll notice. Um… If you guys are fine. With me coming along, I mean. Once this gunshot wound is better.”

She glances at Renee as she talks, making it quite obvious to her that it’s her opinion she’s worried about, the former cop figuring that Dinah already has made her opinion about Helena possibly joining them known to the assassin and that it has been quite positive.

“Course we are”, she says at once, Helena looking relieved, “I don’t know if Dinah has told you, but we both agree that it sucks we didn’t manage to find you after that funhouse fight.”

“Doesn’t matter”, Dinah quickly says, before Helena can start thinking dark thoughts again, “you’re here now. Rossi’s guys are in for an unpleasant surprise.”

“They probably know by now I’m helping you guys out”, Helena says, prompting them both to grimace, “so it won’t be that much of a surprise. And… it might endanger you even further, because he’ll be pissed, it’s personal now, he hired me to kill you guys and now I’m working with you?”

“Let them know”, Dinah confidently replies, Renee nodding along, “the three of us? We can take them. Well, correction, we will be able to take them, once your stitches are not less than a day old.”

Helena makes a face at this, but doesn’t protest; once again, Dinah reaches over and briefly touches her arm while giving her a smile, and once again Renee notices, doesn’t say anything though, just nodding her agreement to the stitches comment, then changes the topic by asking if they have heard of Harley’s latest exploits, apparently, she has gotten up to some pretty weird stuff once she’s left the previous night.

As she talks, Dinah laughs and Helena manages a few smiles, to the cop’s relief; and for a short while, Helena manages to forget her troubles as Dinah is sitting next to her and snickering at what Renee is telling them, allowing herself to relax and to feel good, suddenly sure that she has made the right choice now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking up for Helena :D


	12. Chapter 12

“You will not sleep on the couch another night”, Dinah strictly says quite a while later, once Renee has left again and she has taken note of how tired Helena looks, even though the assassin is struggling to hold back her yawns, “you’ll sleep in my bed tonight.”

“Dinah, no”, Helena protests at once, not really surprising the singer, “I can’t do that. I’m fine on the couch.”

“Nope”, Dinah shakes her head, giving her another stern look, “you’ll be fine in my bed. I’ll be fine on the couch. I’m not the one who’s had a bullet removed yesterday. No talking back!”

Helena looks like she still wants to protest for another moment, then apparently gives up though as she slumps back into the couch and mumbles “fine”; Dinah lets out a “ha!” of triumph, smiling at the look Helena shoots her, unable to stop herself from looking back a bit smugly.

“I thought this would be harder”, she then says, Helena letting out a huff, “but I’m glad it hasn’t been. You should get some rest now, just let me change that bandage before you go to sleep, and find you some fresh clothes.”

Helena just nods in agreement, figuring there’s no use in protesting; and so, she gets up from the couch and makes her way to Dinah’s bedroom, it feels strange to step in there, oddly intimate and as if she shouldn’t be here, but Dinah is right there with her, and that makes it a big better.

“Everything I own will be a bit short on you”, the singer says apologetically as she rummages through her wardrobe, until she has found a dark grey shirt, figuring it will do, Helena probably wouldn’t have been happy with one of her more flashy ones, “but it will do for one night. If you feel up to it, we can go to your place tomorrow and get some of your things? Or I can go on my own, if it still hurts too much.”

“You want me to stay here for longer?” Helena asks in surprise, and Dinah gives her a look which practically screams “duh”; the assassin blinks, and Dinah pauses, realizing Helena has been serious, her gaze softening as she moves to sit on the bed next to her, handing the shirt to her almost as an afterthought.

“Yes, I want that”, she says, and the surprise she can still read in Helena’s eyes makes her wonder if this is the first time someone actually tells her they want her around, and just want her around because they care, not because they want anything from her, “I… Helena, I care for you, okay? And I don’t think you should be alone right now, and not just because you’re hurt.”

Helena swallows heavily, not quite sure what to respond to this; she knows she has issues, she knows it’s not normal to cry and not know why and to have panic attacks out of nowhere, and she knows Dinah is aware of her issues, but she wouldn’t have thought that they are seen as so bad that she shouldn’t be on her own.

“Don’t be ashamed”, Dinah softly says, reaching over and grasping her hand, glad when Helena doesn’t pull back and when she glances at her again, still looking embarrassed though, “you know that… what you deal with would take a toll on everyone, right? No one could just shrug that off and… you might not want to hear this, but what you have been doing the past few months probably hasn’t helped.”

“It hasn’t”, Helena hears herself admit, and that is a bit surprising again, but once more she opens up to Dinah, she doesn’t know why but something about the woman just makes her able and willing to talk about these things, something she never would have done if anyone else had been around, “I… I’ve known it’s wrong, the whole time, it just felt wrong. But I didn’t know what else to do, so I did it anyway.”

“Well, you’re done with that kind of work”, Dinah tells her, glad when Helena nods at once, “and you’ve heard Renee, she’s all for you joining us. No hard feelings.”

“I was done with that kind of work the moment I saw that the Birds of Prey are the two of you”, Helena admits, making Dinah smile again, “there was no way I could have hurt you. Um… the two of you.”

Dinah of course has noticed that little slip of the tongue and how fast Helena has corrected herself, but she knows better than to point this out, reminding herself that for now, all Helena needs is a friend; and so, she doesn’t comment on it, but simply tells her she’ll go get that fresh bandage now, making the assassin nod at once, Helena feeling a bit relieved as this gives her a minute or two to regain her composure.

She pulls off the shirt she has been wearing and, after a moment of being unsure where to put it as she doesn’t just want to throw it on the floor, puts it in her lap; Dinah returns half a minute later, and Helena notices how her steps falter as she sits there shirtless, finding herself wondering why.

For a moment, she almost asks, then decides against it, worried it might seem weird; and apparently, whatever has caused it is over again, as Dinah is smiling again and her usual self when she kneels down in front of her and starts peeling off the bandage.

“Wound looks good”, she says, inspecting it closely, making sure there’s no signs of infection, “and wow, Harley did a good job with those stitches, they’re really nice and even.”

Helena fights the urge to peer at the wound, figuring Dinah knows what she’s talking about; the singer gives her another smile, then bandages her up again, and just when she gets done and sits back, a low buzzing noise comes from her pocket, Dinah looking at it in surprise before she glances up at the assassin.

“My phone”, Helena mumbles, already knowing who is calling, there’s only three people who have this number after all, “Sicily.”

Dinah’s gaze darkens, but she doesn’t try to stop her as she pulls the phone out and takes the call; she barely has said a greeting when the man who’s calling starts yelling, loud enough so Dinah can hear him, she can’t understand a word, but she doesn’t need to.

She can hear the anger in the man’s voice, and she can see how Helena reacts to whatever the man is saying, she’s gone pale and her breath is quickening, and that is all she needs to see.

She moves fast, and Helena isn’t expecting it, so she manages to snatch the phone from her hand, and Helena is too stunned to do anything about it, only sitting there with wide eyes when Dinah holds the phone to her own ear, the man not having an idea he’s not yelling at Helena anymore until she speaks up.

“Okay, listen here, asshole”, Dinah snaps, and the man falls silent, stunned by this new unexpected voice, “I imagine you speak English, so you won’t need Helena to translate this. Fuck off. Leave her alone.”

“Who the fuck are you”, he asks after a moment, proving that he indeed does understand her, his accent audible, but not so heavy it would have made it hard to understand him, “put Helena back on the phone, I’m not done with her.”

“Oh yes, you are”, Dinah replies, Helena still staring, “and she is done with you people. Leave her alone. Don’t call her again. She’s done, you hear me? Find someone else to do your messed up work here. Asshole.”

She hangs up before he can say anything else, then looks at Helena, the assassin staring back at her in disbelief, but thankfully not with anger; the phone starts vibrating in her hand again, and Dinah raises an eyebrow at it, then asks her if she has an emotional connection to that number or the phone itself.

“No?” Helena replies, and a moment later she flinches - as Dinah lets the phone drop to the floor and then steps on it, hard, and the vibrating stops as it shatters beneath her heel.

“Oops”, she deadpans, “oh no. Would you look at that. I accidentally broke your phone.”

Helena stares at her for a few moments longer, speechless - before she starts laughing, quietly and held back at first, then harder, and Dinah smiles as she watches her, happy about this reaction, knowing that Helena just has taken another important step to a life without the horrible work these men had had her do for them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fierce Dinah is fierce. XD


	13. Chapter 13

When Helena wakes in the next morning, she can hear Dinah puttering around in the kitchen, and blinks as her gaze falls on the clock on the nightstand, she’s surprised to see it’s almost ten a.m.; she can’t remember the last time she has slept this long, but for the first time in weeks, she actually feels well rested, and not as tired as she has been when she has gone to bed, as if she hasn’t slept at all. 

Carefully, mindful of her injury, Helena gets out of bed, glad when this doesn’t bring a flash of pain from her side; normally, she stretches after getting up, but she figures it’s not a good idea with a somewhat freshly stitched wound, and so, she just takes a moment to make sure she is steady on her feet before she leaves the bedroom to find Dinah.

Seeing her in the kitchen, making coffee and what appears to be eggs sunny side up, makes Helena think back to the previous night, to how she has grabbed the phone from her and has told Sal off, without hesitation and sounding so pissed that Helena herself almost has been scared of her; she figures the men in Sicily won’t let her off the hook so easily, just because some stranger has yelled at one of them over the phone, but it has been more than she ever has dared to do, and she can’t remember anyone ever having stood up for her like that, jumping in the line of fire like that for her sake. 

“Hey”, she says, aware that she tends to move quietly and not wanting to startle Dinah; apparently, this hasn’t worked out so well as Dinah does flinch a bit, but when she turns to look at her, she’s smiling, so Helena figures it’s okay.

“Good morning”, the singer greets her, gesturing at the kitchen table, the chair she’s used the previous night now back where it belongs, “sit down, breakfast’s almost ready. I slept kinda long, but luckily, so did you.”

Helena nods as she sits down, for a moment not sure if she should reveal it has been a while since she’s slept so good; then, she realizes she revealed so much already, that little tidbit won’t make much of a difference, and clears her throat, making Dinah look at her again. 

“Slept better than I have in a while”, the assassin says, earning another smile from the singer, “and, um… I don’t think I’ve said this yesterday so… thank you. For telling Sal off like that. You are aware you’ve yelled at a highly skilled assassin though, yes?”

“Who’s in Sicily”, Dinah points out, shrugging, “and who was being a dick to you, I could tell that without actually understanding him. Nobody’s gonna be an asshole to Helena Bertinelli on my watch, let me tell you that.”

Helena feels her cheeks heat up at that, and has to clear her throat again before she can respond; Dinah can tell she’s touched, but acts as if she’s not noticing, not wanting to make her even more uncomfortable.

“He was pissed”, Helena reveals, not telling Dinah anything new though, “Rossi called him and told him that not only did I not get the job done, but also I have been helping you guys. So, yeah, they’re not happy.”

“They are still in Sicily though”, Dinah points out, and Helena does not remind her of the fact that planes exist, figuring she knows this and knows that the distance doesn’t mean the men won’t show up on her doorstep one day, an assumption Dinah proved to be correct as she continued, “and even if I pissed them off enough for them to come here, well, I’m good friends with a highly skilled assassin, too, so I’m not worried.”

“They might not be pissed enough to show up here in person”, Helena ponders, she at least hopes they won’t be, but then she knows the guys are not very fond of America as it is, and hopes she’s right, “but they will hire someone. Someone to take me out, for betraying them, and they might promise more cash if they take you down too.”

“So I’m just like a bonus target?” Dinah asks as she moves the eggs from the pan onto two plates, and adds slices of bread, Helena smiling a bit again at her tone, “I should be offended. But, honestly, I’m not worried, the three of us, we can take anything they can throw at us, and you know all their tricks, don’t you?”

“I do”, Helena says, a bit surprised as she realizes this is true - she does know everything they know, about killing people and tracking people, she knows all their tricks in combat and she knows she’s better with the crossbow than any of them, for the first time realizing that they truly had taught her everything they knew, and that now, they might realize that they had trained her a bit  _ too  _ well.

“See”, Dinah says with a slight smile, putting the coffee can, milk and sugar onto the table, then adding mugs and spoons, “so I’m not worried. You know how to deal with something like this, and Renee and I can take care of ourselves, as well. It’s gonna be fine.”

“I suppose so”, Helena has to admit, earning another smile from the singer, “yeah, we’re gonna be okay, but if Rossi takes this as personal offense, and I’m pretty sure he will because our families used to be close, he might not stop just sending one guy. We might have to take down a whole bunch.”

“Then we’ll take down a whole bunch”, Dinah confidently replies, and she hopes she can give some of that confidence back to Helena - she has seen her confident, during the funhouse fight, and she wants her to feel like this again, and she’s determined to do or say whatever is necessary to make her feel this way about herself once again. 

“One after the other, or all at once”, she adds, glad when Helena smiles a bit, “like we did at that amusement park. Those odds weren’t good for us, either, and we kicked ass.”

“We did”, Helena has to agree, Dinah nodding at once, “yeah, I think you’re right, we can take whatever they might throw at us.”

“Course I’m right”, Dinah says at once, watching how Helena pours a tiny splash of milk into her coffee and then raising an eyebrow at the three spoons of sugar she adds, “and wow, didn’t think you’d have such a sweet tooth.”

“I don’t, normally”, Helena tells her, stirring her coffee, “sugar’s not good when you want to stay fit, so this is the sweetest thing I allow myself.”

“You do know that someone with your level of fitness can have a candy bar or a donut or something every now and then, right”, Dinah wants to know, raising an eyebrow, “your muscle won’t lose all definition from a bit of sugar.”

Helena just shrugs, and Dinah makes a mental note to get her some donuts or a muffin or cupcake or some other sort of little treat, figuring her strict diet is just another result of her upbringing; and it can’t hurt to get her to loosen up a bit about that, she tells herself, anything which well separate her from the things the men have put into her head will be helpful and good. 

“So”, she says out loud, not bringing the topic of tasty treats up again for the moment, “you feel up to getting some stuff from your place today? How’s the ouchie?”

“Feeling okay”, Helena tells her with another shrug, “I might not wanna get into a fight, but picking up some stuff should be no problem.”

“Good”, Dinah smiles, glad when she gets a little smile in return, “eat up then, then shower, then out we go?”

Helena nods her agreement to that, and starts shovelling food into her mouth; Dinah is a bit impressed by the speed she eats with, but figures it means the eggs are good, so she’s glad about it, determined to make Helena feel good any way she could, if only so she wouldn’t have to see that sadness in her eyes again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Dinah keeps being helpful. XD


	14. Chapter 14

After breakfast and shower, they take Dinah’s car, not only because Helena needs room to transport her few belongings, but also because she’s in no shape to use her bike, and so, she ends up in the passenger seat of Dinah’s car, the singer herself driving, following the directions Helena is giving her.

She’s a bit surprised that the assassin’s place isn’t that far from hers, wondering how they never have run into each other the past few weeks, but then, she figures Helena isn’t one to take random walks through the neighbourhood; and at least, this means Helena won’t be on her feet for too long, she’s good at hiding it, but Dinah can tell that being out and about like this takes more of a toll on her than she lets on.

She finds a parking spot in front of the building, and the two of them get out of the car; Helena leads the way, explaining that the elevator is broken but that she’s only up in the second floor, Dinah nodding as she follows her up the stairs.

Helena stops dead in her tracks so unexpectedly that Dinah nearly bumps into her, and she’s glad she hasn’t, not sure how much pain this might have caused; Helena barely seems to notice though, her gaze fixed on one of the doors up ahead, the only one, Dinah notices, which isn’t closed, but ajar, just enough so she can see it, as well.

She’s not been sure it is necessary for Helena to bring her crossbow, but now she’s glad Helena has done so as the assassin has it at the ready while she sneaks closer to the door, Dinah already knowing it’s her place without having to ask, just from the look on her face; she makes sure to move quietly as well, she’s not as good at it as Helena is though and so she stays a few steps behind, just in case.

Helena pushes the door open without actually standing in the doorframe, not endangering herself this way as she remains out of the line of fire of a possible intruder; now she’s glad that the place is somewhat small, as she can quickly take in the main area of the apartment and sees it’s empty, and with the state it is in, she’s fairly certain whoever has done this is long gone.

“Shit”, Dinah breathes behind her, peering past her and at the chaos; they’ve destroyed everything they could get their hands on, the couch is cut up and there’s smashed plates and glasses on the floor, drawers have been pulled out and emptied to the ground, and when Helena steps inside and gets a look at her bedroom, she can quickly tell the same has been done to her wardrobe.

Her bed is all cut up, as well, and her bathroom is a mess as much as the rest of the apartment; they really have left no place out, she darkly thinks to herself, and she doesn’t bother to check if the money she’s put aside is gone, she just knows it is, they’ve torn apart her whole place and she’s certain they have found the cash.

“This wasn’t a burglary, was it”, Dinah says behind her, and only Helena’s self control keeps her from flinching as for a moment, she almost has forgotten that Dinah is here with her; she shakes her head, then turns to face the singer, Dinah somewhat surprised at how calm she looks.

“No”, she confirms, lowering her crossbow again as she knows there is no immediate threat, not anymore, “this is a message. No one but the men who’ve raised me in Sicily knows I live here.”

“Shit”, Dinah says again, feeling bad and guilty now as she is fairly certain this has been caused by what she has said to one of those men the previous night, “Helena, I’m sorry…”

“For what”, Helena wants to know, sounding only confused by the apology, “you didn’t come here and do this.”

“But I pissed off one of them”, Dinah points out, “maybe they wouldn’t have done this if I hadn’t called him an asshole yesterday.”

“This has nothing to do with what you said to him”, Helena tells her, Dinah looking doubtful in response, “he already was pissed when he called, knowing I’d ditched the job and am helping you guys out instead. This would have happened no matter if you had said anything to him or not, I guess it’s lucky I haven’t been home or they would have cut me up like my couch.”

“Just another reason for you to stay at my place”, Dinah says at once, glad when Helena nods, “let’s pack up your clothes, the stuff in your bathroom is all broken or on the floor, we’ll get you new things.”

“Yeah, but I’m pretty much broke now”, Helena admits, making a face, “I’ve had some cash here, but they probably took that. I’ll look but…”

“It’s okay”, Dinah reassures her, relieved when she gets a small smile for that, “we’ll figure something out, and until then, I can pay for a new toothbrush. Come on, let’s pack up.”

Helena nods and finds her duffle bag among the chaos, glad that at least, they’d only thrown that to the floor and haven’t cut it up too; she throws clothes into it at random, Dinah commenting on how she obviously likes dark colours as her clothing is either black or grey, a few purple items standing out, and she shrugs, keeping her focus on collecting underwear and socks as she responds.

“Dark clothing makes it easier to remain undetected”, she tells her, not really surprising her, “kinda a good thing for an assassin. And I also sorta… like it.”

“No judgement”, Dinah reassures her, earning another smile, “and you should wear things you’re comfortable in, just saying. You got everything?”

“Almost”, Helena says, then moves to the living room; Dinah follows her, curious as she watches her approach the couch, only to go wide-eyed when she realizes what the taller woman is intending to do. 

“No, no, no”, she quickly says, moving to stop the assassin and earning a confused look, “Helena, really? You’re not lifting the couch, you got a bullet wound! That’s gonna tear your stitches!”

“But I have to move it”, Helena points out, “just a little bit? That won’t do anything.”

“Then let me do it”, Dinah says, shaking her head, “step aside, come on, I won’t have you bleeding all over my car seats.”

“Okay”, Helena gives in surprisingly quickly, Dinah figuring that her comment about the car seats is what has done it, she apparently doesn’t want to thank her for all her help by making a mess in her car; she steps aside and lets Dinah move the couch, the singer glad that she’s in good shape as she does so.

“That’s far enough”, Helena tells her once she has pushed it to the left a bit, “looks like they didn’t find this, lucky.”

She moves to kneel down on the floor, Dinah keeping a close eye on her as she’s fairly certain this pulls on her stitches; if it does, Helena doesn’t let it show though, taking hold of one of the floorboards and lifting it up, revealing a small compartment which holds what looks like a passport, a small amount of money - so at least she’s not completely broke, she thinks to herself, glad that she has split the cash up between two hiding places - and what appears to be a child’s drawing, male figures with their faces crossed out.

“My hit list”, Helena says when she notices Dinah looking, with a wry smile, “well, the hit list I made when I was nine. There was something else I brought here from Sicily but… I… lost that.”

Dinah doesn’t quite what to say to that but she can tell saying this has hurt Helena, and so, she just places a tender hand on the taller woman’s shoulder; Helena pulls in a shuddery breath, and Dinah decides that the touch is not enough, so she moves to hug her, and Helena returns the embrace at once, Dinah just holding her close for a while, giving her the comfort and reassurance she so badly needs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good thing Helena wasn't home...


	15. Chapter 15

For the next few days, not much happens; Dinah and Renee have decided to not go on missions at night for as long as Helena can’t come along, the assassin feeling bad about forcing Dinah to stay home like this, but the singer wouldn’t hear it, strictly telling her that either all three of them go out or none of them.

So, Dinah spends her days and evenings taking care of Helena, making sure her wound is healing well and that there are no signs of infection; and she takes care of her mental health, as well, helping her through her panic attacks, holding her when she wakes up screaming from nightmares and just being there for her, no matter if she just wants to sit in silence or wants to talk.

Dinah makes sure to keep Helena distracted during those days, she can tell the assassin is getting restless; and so, they watch her favourite movies and TV shows, and she plays her favourite songs to her, she does everything she can think of to keep Helena’s mind occupied, and for most of the time, it works, even though she sometimes glances at her when they are side by side on the couch, watching something, and can tell from the look in Helena’s eyes that the woman is miles away, thinking about God knows what.

She never says anything when she notices Helena get like that, as the assassin usually snaps out of it after a few minutes; one evening, it happens when Harley is there to check on Helena, and Dinah can tell she takes note of it, as well, but she doesn’t say anything either, so Dinah figures it was smart to just leave Helena be when she spaces out like that.

While Dinah makes sure that Helena is as well as she can be, both physically and mentally, Renee is working on finding out who has been feeding them wrong leads to get them into traps set by Rossi and his men; she’s not getting far, to her dismay, Ellen has given her the names of her contacts at GCPD, and she’s talked to the few she’s still in contact with herself, but it hasn’t led anywhere, to her great dismay and annoyance.

“The guys I’m in contact with are all proper cops, so they have no idea who might be dirty”, she tells them as she visits one evening, to update them on her search for the dirty cops and to see how Helena is doing, “and they got a reputation for being decent, so nobody’s gonna approach them about anything shady. Which is a good thing, in principle, but not helpful for us right now.”

“We’ll figure it out”, Dinah confidently says, while Helena mostly listens, not having said much so far, “maybe we can grab one of them the next time they try to set a trap and question him.”

“A random mook won’t know much”, Helena comments, for the first time actually contributing to the conversation and not just nodding along, “they’ll just get told to go there and take us down. The less these people know, the safer it’s for the guys commanding them.”

“Right”, Renee has to realize, making a face, but a quick glance at Helena tells Dinah that she doesn’t take that expression as aimed at her, as the assassin just shrugs, “good point. No crime boss who gets that far will give such info to some random hired hand.”

“The hired hands will know where we can find the big guys though”, Dinah thoughtfully says, Helena nodding along again, “so if we can get one of them to talk, we’ll at least have some sort of lead.”

“We should go out tomorrow night”, Helena says, and Dinah knows what to look for by now, and takes note of how she briefly tenses when she says  _ we _ , apparently still not fully certain she’s really welcome to the team, momentarily looking relieved when both Dinah and Renee nod their agreement, “see if we can set a trap for those trying to trap us. Renee, can you call Ellen, ask her for a lead?”

“Will do”, Renee promises at once, Dinah giving Helena a slight smile, and glad when the assassin smiles back at her after a second, “but are you sure you should do this already? How’s your ouchie?”

“Healing”, Helena replies with a shrug, “I think the stitches can come out soon, as long as no one punches me right there, I’ll be fine.”

Dinah isn’t quite sure this is true, Helena doesn’t appear to be in pain anymore when she moves, but she gets a look at the wound every time she changes the bandage, and knows it’s not healed yet; she also figures though that Helena is eager to get to work, make amends for the things she has done between the amusement park fight and taking the job to kill the Birds of Prey, and so, she doesn’t protest, just nods when Renee gives her a questioning look. 

“It’s healing well”, she then confirms, “like Helena said, she better not take a punch there, but other than that…”

“Alright”, Renee agrees, figuring that Dinah wouldn’t let Helena go anywhere if she worried for her wellbeing, “I’ll call her then, I’ll let you guys know if she has anything for us. So Crossbow, tell me, how’s your education in pop culture going?”

“We’ve started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, Helena answers, making Renee snicker while Dinah smiles a bit proudly at what Helena says next, “I like it. We also watched a bit of Friends, but I didn’t enjoy that as much.”

“Not enough fighting for her taste”, Dinah adds, making Renee snicker while Helena just shrugs; Dinah smiles at her for another moment, then asks if anyone else wants a refill as her glass is empty, taking Renee’s once the former cop has nodded and vanishing into the kitchen, Renee looking at the assassin the moment Dinah is out of the room. 

“So how are you holding up”, she asks, quite bluntly, and Helena can only blink, “I imagine your life is pretty much upside down since the night at that warehouse.”

“It is”, Helena admits, not quite sure what to think of this, Dinah has assured her that Renee is fine with her joining them, but now she feels a bit put on the spot, perhaps also because Renee sounds like a cop interrogating her now, “but… I think I’m dealing… okay? Dinah is great, you know, she’s really helping me out.”

“Good”, Renee says, giving her a slight smile and making her feel a bit less as if she’s being interrogated, “don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to give you a hard time. I know you thought you had no other choice when you did these things. And I’m all for you joining us, I mean it. But I need to know that you’re in this fully, and that you won’t take any more of those other… jobs.”

“I won’t”, Helena says at once, making a face at the mere thought, “I’m done with this sort of work. For good.”

“Good”, the former cop says again, then smiles once more as she leans over and claps Helena on the shoulder, “welcome to the team, then. We’ll kick ass.”

“We will”, Helena agrees at once, glad that Renee has made this official now; the former cop grins, and nods, and just then Dinah comes back, and catches Helena’s eye, the smile she gives her making the assassin feel even better about the whole thing, once more convincing her that she has made the right choice and that now, everything will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now the Birds are officially a trio. XD


	16. Chapter 16

As it turns out, Ellen does have a lead for them; she can’t reassure them it’s not another fake to lure them into a trap, but as they kind of want to get lured now, the three of them then don’t mind, even though Dinah is still concerned it might be early for Helena to go with them, the assassin determined to pull it off though, and if she is in any pain as she gets ready, she does a very good job hiding it.

“Maybe I’m looking forward to this a bit too much”, she admits as she finishes lacing up her boots, making Dinah smiles a bit, “but then, we are taking out bad guys, so that’s something I can be proud of, right?”

“Right”, Dinah agrees at once, watching how Helena takes a quick, but critical look at her crossbow, making sure it’s in working order, before she slings it over her shoulder, where it won’t be in the way, but can easily be reached, “and you’re sure you’re up for it? Any pain?”

“No pain”, Helena reassures her, and that is even mostly true, the assassin skillfully ignoring the twinge of pain she actually has felt when she’s bent over to tie her boots, “I’m good. I really want to do this.”

“Okay”, Dinah agrees, figuring it will be good for Helena and her mental health to do some good - she has done so already when she has helped them out, but Dinah knows she’s been feeling bad about it at the same time, feeling as if she’s betraying the men who have raised and trained her, and now, she’s fully for the idea of fighting with them, and she wants her to have that, have the success of actually doing something good and feel good about it, too. 

“Just be careful”, she adds, almost as an afterthought, reaching out and placing one hand on Helena’s shoulder, “we don’t want you to get hurt on our first night out together.”

“I’ll be fine”, Helena says, looking up at her, and it’s not the first time their eyes meet, far from it, but it’s the first time since the amusement park that the eye contact has this intimate, somewhat heavy feel to it; Dinah finds herself unable to do or say anything, captured by the weight of Helena’s gaze, and Helena seems mesmerized the same way, her body suddenly feeling hot where Dinah’s hand is touching her.

She swallows as Dinah keeps looking back at her, suddenly acutely aware of everything, of how Dinah’s hand feels on her shoulder, of how her heart hammers in her chest and of how the singer is actually close enough to let her take in her scent; for a moment, she almost wants to reach up and grab her, pull her close and kiss her, but then, she remembers who she is and what she has done, and forces herself to look away, feeling Dinah’s gaze on her for another second or two before the singer’s hand vanishes from her shoulder.

“Okay”, Dinah starts, then has to clear her throat, showing Helena she is just as affected by this as she herself is, but surely, Helena tells herself, she can’t want this, she can’t want someone like her, someone who’s so messed up and has murdered people for money, “if you’re sure you’re good.”

“I am”, Helena says, relieved at how steady her voice sounds, what she has gone through might have messed her up beyond repair, but at least it has taught her how to keep her emotions from showing through her face or voice, the men who have trained her have always been quick to punish it when she has shown pain or, God forbid, sadness, “I swear. We should get moving, or we’ll be late and then Renee will yell at us.”

“Right”, Dinah agrees, not quite as good as Helena at hiding her emotions and thus unable to keep a slight hitch out of her voice, “let’s go.”

Helena nods and comes to her feet, and once she has pulled on her jacket, Dinah and she leave the apartment, and as they walk to the singer’s car, Helena keeps telling herself that the moment they have shared minutes ago means nothing, can’t mean anything, that Dinah deserved better and that she has to stop any feelings she might have before they can grow too big to ignore, not wanting to ruin the good thing she has now by feeling things she knows she’s not supposed to feel.

* * *

The lead Ellen has provided them with turns out to not be another trap, and Dinah isn’t sure if she should be happy or annoyed about that; it does delay their chances to find out who the mole at GCPD is, but on the other hand, it’s random drug dealers who’d had no idea the Birds of Prey are coming for them, and so, the fight isn’t as difficult as it might have been, had it been another trap. 

As it is, the guys are surprised by the three of them showing up, and Dinah figures it’s a good first fight for Helena to have with them, not too challenging, considering her not yet healed wound; she doesn’t even need to make use of her crossbow, the three of them taking the gang down with punches and kicks only, and the guys are uncoordinated and surprised enough that Dinah can allow herself a few moments of watching Helena fight.

If her injury pains her, it neither slows her down, nor does she let it show; she takes one of the guys down with ease, ducks the clumsy punch of another and swipes his legs out from underneath him, but before Dinah can watch her take him out fully, one of them comes after her, and she has to focus on taking him down, not wanting to get hurt after having told Helena to be careful.

Thanks to the lack of actual fighting skill from the criminals though, none of them is in any real danger during the fight; they take them down with ease, and once they all are out cold on the ground, Renee calls Ellen so Ellen in turn will call her contact and let them know that the gang is ready to be picked up.

“Good job guys”, she says once the call is done and she has tucked her phone away again, “Crossbow, you okay? You’re a little pale.”

“Fine”, Helena says, but now that Dinah has time to take a good look at her, she can tell she is not quite as okay as she wants them to believe; she also knows though that Helena won’t want to seem weak or vulnerable in front of Renee, she might trust her enough to show her these sides of herself, but she knows she’s not that far with Renee yet. 

So, Dinah doesn’t say anything to contradict her, but claims that she is tired herself and that they should have their victory drinks another evening; if Helena realizes what Dinah is doing, she hides it as well as the pain Dinah is sure she is in, and Renee apparently sees right through her ruse, as well, giving her a knowing look as she nods, letting the other two know that she hasn’t slept much and will be happy to get home and into bed.

“I’ll see you guys around”, Renee adds, making them both nod; then, they part ways as Dinah and Helena return to the singer’s car and Renee walks to her own, and this time, Helena doesn’t bother to hide the grimace when she gets into the passenger seat.

“Shower and then bed for you the minute we get home”, Dinah tells her, in a tone which would allow no arguing back; Helena is in no mood to do so anyway though, the fight hasn’t been hard or difficult, but there’s a steady pulse of pain from the wound now, showing her that perhaps, she should have waited another day or two before going into a fight.

At least though, she tells herself as Dinah starts the engine and drives away from the scene of the fight, she can’t feel any warm wetness spread from the wound, so she’s pretty sure the stitches haven’t opened up again; and even though it hurts, Helena feels good about herself for the first time in weeks, knowing she has done good work tonight with the other two, and that is worth a bit of pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who loves heated eye contact? I doooo :D


	17. Chapter 17

After both Dinah and Helena have showered, Dinah insists on taking a look at the injury, just to make sure it’s not gotten worse again; Helena reassures her she’s okay, but Dinah knows the woman can be stubborn, even with her, so she refuses to let it go, until Helena gives in with a small sigh and lifts her shirt so she can get a good look at it.

“Yeah”, Dinah lets out as she studies the wound, and perhaps also looks a bit closer than necessary at the impressive abs Helena reveals along with the injury, “looks like the fighting didn’t do any damage. But it hurts, doesn’t it, don’t try to deny it.”

“It does”, Helena admits with another sigh, figuring there’s no use in denying it, Dinah can see right through her tries to be stoic, it seems, “maybe using those shoulder throws wasn’t such a good idea.”

“And the kicking, and the punching”, Dinah says with a small laugh, glad when Helena smiles a bit as well, “might have generally been too early for you to go out with us, but you did amazing. You’re really good at this.”

She glances up at her as she makes that compliment, and their eyes meet again, and yet again it’s a loaded sort of look; Dinah takes note of how Helena pulls in a slow, controlled breath, as if she suddenly has to try very hard to stay in control, and she decides to test the waters, placing both hands on the other woman’s thighs, the way Helena breathes in again at the touch telling her that she’s not imagining any of this and that it’s no wishful thinking.

Keeping her hands where they are, Dinah pushes herself up, using Helena’s legs for support, not breaking the eye contact for a second; she gets ready to kiss her, right then and there, but just before their lips actually meet, Helena lets out a shuddering breath and looks away, and once again, the moment is broken.

“No”, the assassin manages, and Dinah freezes, finding it hard to believe she has misread everything so completely, only for her heart to clench up when Helena continues, “you don’t… want that. Not with me.”

“What?” Dinah manages, not quite sure what to think of this; and when Helena looks at her again, that tiredness is back in her eyes, and a self-loathing so deep that it makes Dinah’s heart hurt again. 

“You deserve better”, Helena says, and Dinah can only stare back at her, “better than me. You don’t want someone like me.”

“And you just decided that all on your own?” Dinah asks after another moment of processing this, making it Helena’s turn to stare at her, “don’t you think I should have a say in that?”

Helena opens her mouth as if to say something, then closes it again, clearly at a loss for words; not wanting to appear harsh, and perhaps upset her, Dinah gives her a slight smile, keeping her hands were they are as she makes sure to hold the assassin’s gaze, not allowing the eye contact to be broken again.

“Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?” she quietly asks, and even though Helena is a bit worried that this might end badly for her, she makes herself nod; Dinah doesn’t look as if she is about to say anything mean, and even if she is, Helena tells herself it will be the truth anyway, even if it might hurt.

“I see a woman who’s strong, who cares for her friends, who’s kind”, Dinah tells her, and she feels her eyes water, telling herself to hold it together, “who’s going against fifteen years of indoctrination and puts herself at risk to do what’s right. And who’s not unappealing to look at, either, but that’s just an extra bonus.”

Helena smiles a slightly watery smile at that, still struggling to hold back the tears blurring her sight; she can’t remember the last time anyone has spoken so kindly of her,  _ to  _ her, and it makes her heart hurt, but in an oddly good way.

“So”, Dinah continues, still holding her gaze, “tell me what more I could want from someone. Don’t tell yourself you’re not worth it.”

“I’ve murdered people”, Helena manages in response, not yet willing to let herself off the hook so fast, despite Dinah’s kind words; and now, Dinah does move her hands from her legs, but only so that she can grasp Helena’s, holding them gently, still smiling up at her as she crouches in front of her.

“Because you thought you had no other choice”, she points out, “that’s the indoctrination I was talking about? And because we haven’t found you when we should have. You’re amazing, Helena, don’t let anyone tell you different. Not even your own brain.”

Helena can only swallow heavily in response, a few tears escaping after all, despite her best efforts; Dinah squeezes her hands, glad when Helena neither looks away, nor pulls away, not even to wipe the tears off her face.

“So, I know what I want”, she adds, Helena swallowing again, “and I want you. Can I kiss you now?”   


Her smile widens when Helena nods, and this time, when she leans in, the assassin doesn’t try to stop her, pulling in a sharp breath when Dinah’s lips meet hers. 

One of her hands moves up to cup the singer’s jaw, the touch so gentle and careful that it sends shivers up and down Dinah’s spine; mindful of Helena’s injury, she wraps one arm around her, and somehow ends up in her lap despite her best intentions, feeling the taller woman shudder beneath her when the kiss deepens. 

“I’m not hurting you, am I”, Dinah mumbles as she pulls back just to make sure; Helena shakes her head, then leans in again, and any pain she might have felt despite her denial is blown away as they kiss again.

This is the first time she is kissing someone, and she’s amazed and stunned at how  _ good _ it feels; she’s almost overwhelmed by Dinah’s taste and scent and the warmth and weight of her body so close to her own, and she still finds it hard to believe Dinah actually wants this from her,  _ with  _ her, after the things she has done. 

She more feels than hears Dinah sigh into her mouth, and the noise makes her feel tingly all over, something else she never has felt before; she has felt brief moments of attraction, when she has seen a pretty lady somewhere while out and about, and much bigger attraction to Dinah during the time at the amusement park, but she never would have thought anything would come from it, and certainly not this.

“This feels amazing”, she blurts before she can stop herself once they have pulled apart again; Dinah smiles, and lets out a small laugh as she nods, moving one hand to play with Helena’s hair, the feeling of that combined with the playful spark in her eyes once again making the assassin swallow heavily.

“Good to know”, Dinah lets her know, “once your wound is properly healed, I’ll show you some other things which will feel just as good or even better.”

“Can’t wait”, Helena mumbles, blushing, and making Dinah smirk again; after a moment, Helena smiles back at her, then pulls her in for yet another kiss, and for a while, all her self-loathing and her doubts are forgotten as Dinah kisses her back, wordlessly reassuring her that this is real, that this is what she wants, and that this is what Helena is allowed to have, as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good thing Dinah isn't easily scared off. XD


	18. Chapter 18

Both Helena and Dinah know it wouldn’t be smart to do much more than kissing, with how Helena is both injured still and with how new all of this is for her; she blushes when she tells Dinah she never has kissed anyone before her, but Dinah, to her relief, doesn’t laugh at her or judge her, just solemnly tells her that now, she can get all the kisses she wants - from her, of course, no kissing of other people, the mere idea of kissing someone who is not Dinah making Helena grimace in a way though which makes the singer laugh after all.

Now that they are together like this though, Helena wants Dinah to sleep on her couch even less, and she insists for Dinah to share the bed with her, claiming that her wound is healed well enough to allow this; and while Dinah isn’t so sure of that, she can tell that it means much to Helena, that she wants to be close to her during the night, and she can’t find it within herself to say no.

So, when they go to sleep, Dinah and Helena share the singer’s bed, and even though Dinah is mindful of Helena’s still healing wound, she ends up snuggled up to her, finding it quite hard to not be close to her once they both have gotten comfortable; and she can feel Helena relax beneath her as she rests her head on the assassin’s shoulder, a small sigh coming from Helena as she wraps both arms around her.

“Feels good?” Dinah still asks, just to be on the safe side, “I’m not hurting you, right?”

She’s aware this is the second time in less than an hour, but she worries, and so she is glad when Helena reassures her she’s not; after another moment, Helena tells her that not only does it not hurt, but that it feels great, and the slight tremble Dinah can hear in her voice when she continues makes her heart clench up again.

“I feel safe”, Helena admits, “like this. And calm, and… I don’t know. You make me feel… good. Special. Worth it.”

“You are”, Dinah reassures her, moving to press a gentle kiss to her cheek and making her smile a bit again, “you’re worth everything. And whenever you doubt this, I’ll be right here to remind you of it.”

“Thank you”, Helena manages, feeling close to tears again and scolding herself, telling herself to not be such a crybaby around Dinah all the time; the singer squeezes her in response, and kisses her cheek again, and if she notices that Helena once again is close to tears, she’s kind enough to not say anything.

“Let’s get some rest”, she says instead, making Helena nod at once, “we’ve had quite the exciting day.”

“I’ll say”, Helena mumbles, making Dinah laugh a bit; she smiles slightly as well, then lets out another content sigh as she closes her eyes, and a short while later, both Dinah and she are fast asleep.

That night, with Dinah in her arms, Helena sleeps better than she has in weeks.

* * *

Ellen has another lead for them in the next evening, from a different lead, she says, and they all hope it will be another trap so they will find someone to question; Dinah is a bit worried as she can tell Helena’s injury still pains her, but she also knows the assassin won’t stay home while Renee and she go out, and so, she just tells her to be careful as she bandages the wound up again, adding another layer of protection in addition to the clothes Helena will wear.

“I’ll be fine”, Helena tells her, not really surprising her, even though the taller woman makes her smile with what she says next, “if only so I’ll get more kisses later on, you can’t kiss me when I’m unconscious on your couch.”

“Well, technically, I could”, Dinah says thoughtfully, Helena raising an eyebrow, “but it would be sort of creepy.”

“Quite”, Helena agrees, another smile curling her lips; it amazes Dinah how much easier Helena’s smiles come now, she’s done so more often since getting up this morning than she has the whole previous five days combined, and it warms her heart to know that at least partly, she is responsible for this change.

Dinah gets done with the bandage, and Helena pulls on a fresh shirt, then her jacket, the leather of it hopefully providing even more protection; afterwards, they both put on their boots, then head out, once again taking Dinah’s car as Helena knows and admits that using her bike wouldn’t be good with the healing wound, especially not if Dinah would ride with her and hold on to her.

So, Dinah’s car it is, and Dinah drives, Helena in the passenger seat, hoping that this time, it will be another trap; and as it turns out, it is, a gang of Rossi’s guys waiting for them when they arrive, sneering when they see her with Dinah and Renee, apparently knowing at once who she is even though this is the first time she faces them as a team with the other two.

“So they were right”, one of them sneers, looking at her as if she’s dirt stuck to the bottom of his shoe, “the Huntress has changed sides.”

“Keep this guy alive and awake”, Helena mumbles to Dinah and Renee in response, making sure to keep her voice low so they won’t hear what she is saying, “he’s like their group leader. He’ll know where we can find his boss.”

The other two nod, then Dinah smiles at the men, asking them in an overly sweet tone if they are afraid of them, now that they are three and not just two anymore; this apparently angers the men, as they move to attack at once, and while Helena reminds herself to keep their leader alive and awake, she has no such scruples about the other men, taking two down with her crossbow while they are still charging.

While they are still falling, Helena already slings the crossbow back onto her back, and brings her fists up as they others are too close now to let her reload; she grits her teeth as the hand to hand combat starts, but while the men might have at least some training, they are nowhere near as good as she is, and she takes them down left and right with ease.

From the corner of her eye, she takes note of Dinah and Renee taking guys down just as effectively; Dinah kicks one in the back, sends him stumbling towards Helena, and the assassin moves to meet him, slamming her forearm into his face and sending him to the ground.

Another one makes a clumsy grab for her other arm, and she retaliates by turning and grabbing him; he has time to let out a surprised yelp, then she is throwing him over her shoulder and follows up with a hard punch right into his solar plexus, leaving him gasping for air on the ground, unable to do more than curl up in pain. 

She straightens up again just in time to see one of the few still standing land a lucky hit and punch Dinah in the face, and the old, familiar rage flares up within her as she sees Dinah’s head snap back and the blood pour from her nose.

“Motherfucker!” she snaps as she goes after the man who has hurt Dinah, and he turns in surprise at hearing her so close behind him, but he can’t do much more than that; Helena punches him, once, twice, three times, and kicks him when he is down, Dinah stopping her from kicking him again by grabbing her arm, and Helena belatedly realizes that the fight is over, that all the men are down and either dead, unconscious or at least no longer in a state to fight back. 

Thankfully, the guy Helena has pinpointed as the leader is still awake, even though bleeding from his nose and a cut near his eyebrow; striding over to him, Helena grabs his collar and yanks him up into a sitting position, her glare clearly frightening him as he doesn’t even try to put up a fight.

“Tell us who hired you”, Helena commands, Dinah and Renee moving to stand behind her, “and where we can find him.”

“Alessandro”, he says at once, Helena frowning at him and prompting him to elaborate, “Alessandro Rossi. Mario’s son, he’s doing the smaller jobs, this is his big thing, if he manages to get you killed…”

“Where can we find him”, Renee wants to know, and he gives her the name of an Italian restaurant in one of the nicer parts of town; and once Renee has noted that down, she nods at Helena, and Helena punches the guy’s lights out, smirking to herself as she straightens up, satisfied with how well this has gone and that now, they have a lead on the man responsible for the traps which have been set for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pro tip: don't hurt Dinah, unless you want a VERY pissed off Huntress to come at you.


	19. Chapter 19

“This is one thing I won’t miss, you know”, Helena comments in the evening of the next day, shifting on the car seat, “the endless sitting and waiting around for a target to show up. At least your seats are comfy.”

“I’d be the worst assassin ever”, Dinah lets her know in response, taking a sip of her coffee and making a face as it has gone cold a while ago, “I’d fall asleep. If you weren’t here with me, I’d be asleep already.”

Helena smiles a bit at that and shrugs, she’s somewhat used to doing this, and often has done it in places much less comfortable than a car seat; then, she focuses on the restaurant again, the photo of Alessandro Rossi Renee has organized for them taped to the dashboard so they won’t miss him enter.

It seems to be not just a meeting point for the mob, so Helena hopes they won’t end up fighting him in there; she knows that one usually can’t recognize people working for or with the mafia simply by how they dress, but several of the guests look like they have not the slightest affiliation to anything illegal, and the last thing she wants is to accidentally harm some innocent bystander who just has been there at the wrong time.

“That’s probably why Renee has excused herself for tonight”, Dinah ponders out loud, distracting Helena from her thoughts about bystanders and the frequency with which people of the mafia visit Italian restaurants, “so she won’t have to sit around here with us, being bored.”

“Maybe”, Helena agrees with a small smile, briefly regretting that they both have to be on the lookout for Rossi, as it means she can’t take a minute or two for a kiss; she tells herself there can be kissing once the job is done though, very aware of how Dinah glances at her as she keeps her eyes on the restaurant, figuring that the singer is having similar thoughts.

Still, they both behave, sitting side by side quietly for a while, each having her own thoughts; and just when Helena starts to wonder if the guy might not show up that night, he does, approaching the restaurant, both Dinah and the assassin spotting him in the same moment.

“So what now”, Dinah asks, not quite sure how to proceed, not liking the thought of the two of them storming the restaurant very much, “do we wait until he comes back outside?”

“No”, Helena says after a moment, thinking back to dinners with her family in restaurants such as this one, “he won’t sit with the regular guests, not if they know he’s part of the mob. He’ll be in a separate area.”

“Okay”, Dinah says with a little shrug, figuring that Helena knows what she is talking about, coming from a mafia family and everything, “but they won’t just let us waltz in there, right?”

“Probably not”, Helena has to admit, frowning as she tries to find a way how to handle this without endangering anyone, “but maybe we can get in there anyway, my father always told me, just walk in as if you own the place, if we play this right… Follow my lead?”

Dinah just nods, figuring Helena knows what she is doing; they both get out of the car, and while Dinah finds it a bit surprising that Helena doesn’t bother to remove her crossbow, she doesn’t comment on it, just following the taller woman as she purposefully strides to the building, entering as if she indeed belongs there.

“Alessandro Rossi”, she says to the nearest waiter, before the man has a chance to ask her if she wants a table for two, “he’s at the usual spot?”

The waiter nods at the back of the restaurant in response, at the door there marked  _ Private _ , and Dinah is impressed, clearly Helena has convinced him she has a right to know where Rossi is with just a few words and her confident way of addressing him; once again, Helena takes the lead, Dinah right behind her, feeling her heart beat fast in her chest now, Rossi and his guys might not be expecting them, but they are mob members, and she figures they will react fast to any threat against them.

Helena pushes the door open, and Dinah takes the scene in quickly; it’s a small private room, with just one table, Rossi sitting at it with three other guys, and that makes her feel better, she knows the two of them can take four guys, knows Helena has taken that number on her own without as much as a scratch, and clearly, the men don’t realize they are here with bodily harm in mind, looking at the two of them with appreciation, the way they stare at Helena and her making Dinah’s skin crawl.

“Aw, guys”, Alessandro himself is the one to speak up, grinning at his companions, “admit it, who of you ordered the strippers? You shouldn’t have.”

Helena strides up to the table while he’s still talking, and, without slowing down, pulls one of her knives; one of the guys has his hand resting on the table, near his glass, and before the men have a chance to register that she actually holds a weapon, she has slammed the knife down, through his hand, and nails him to the table, his eyes going wide as his mouth drops open.

A quick jab with her elbow knocks out the one who has been sitting opposite of the guy she’s just stabbed, and before Dinah can do more than stand and stare, Helena has grabbed the wine bottle and smashed it on the head of the third one, taking him out as well.

The whole thing hasn’t even taken five seconds, and Rossi is still fumbling for his weapon when Helena aims her crossbow at his face, and he freezes at once.

“Do you know who I am”, Helena asks him, and now Dinah wonders why she has come along in the first place, it’s not like Helena has needed much help; Rossi gulps visibly, and nods, smart enough to keep his hands where they can see them, very aware of the crossbow bolt aimed right at his face.

“You’re the Huntress”, he manages, sounding as if he’s close to panicking now, “you’ve changed sides, there’ve been rumours but if you’re here now…”

“Rumours confirmed”, Dinah quips, if only so she won’t just stand here and watch; he gulps again, keeping his hands up, and even shoots the guy with the injured hand a warning look when he lets out a groan.

“I also know who you are”, Helena tells him, and he grimaces, but doesn’t look really surprised, “and I know you’re an only child. So,  _ Alessandro _ , give my regards to your father and tell him, if he doesn’t want to lose his only son, he’ll stop going after my friends. And don’t think I won’t be able to find you. I’ve found you here. I’ll find you again.”

He looks terrified now, only able to nod, and Dinah wonders if he’ll burst into tears, should he open his mouth to say anything; and she can understand his fear, Helena is terrifying right now, and the smile she gives the man doesn’t make it better, it’s cold and cruel, if Helena ever had smiled at her like that back at the amusement park, she’s fairly certain she would have made sure to get very far away very fast.

“Good”, Helena says to his agreement, lowering the crossbow - before she uses her free hand to backhand him, hard enough to knock him out, as well, and Dinah is impressed once more at her speed and strength, giving her a look of appreciation when she turns to face her again.

“Let’s go”, Helena says, making the singer nod; they leave together, Helena making sure to pull the door close quickly behind herself, before one of the waiters can get a look at the hurt and knocked out men, and before one of them makes his way in there, Helena and Dinah are not only back in the car, but driving, as well, quickly getting away before anyone might chase after them.

“Admit it”, Dinah breaks the silence after driving for a bit, making Helena look at her, “when he said you’re the Huntress, you were happily squealing inside.”

“I did no such thing”, Helena claims at once, but Dinah can see the amused twinkle in her eyes, and she’s happy at seeing the assassin so humorous and relaxed, so different to how she has been the first few days after they’d brought her to Dinah’s home, “excuse me, I’m the Huntress, I’m stoic and do not squeal.”

“Of course not”, Dinah says with a small laugh, then makes use of a red light she has to stop at and leans over for a brief, but gentle kiss; and when she pulls back, Helena is smiling, a small and gentle smile, now so different to the one she has given Rossi.

“That”, the assassin says, blushing a bit, but not stopping herself, reaching over and briefly touching Dinah’s hand, “that is what makes me squeal inside.”

“Awww”, Dinah lets out, touched, and Helena’s smile widens; she squeezes her hand, then sinks back into the seat as the singer focuses on driving again, feeling good about the evening’s events, certain that she has scared Rossi off and that no one will try to set traps for the three of them any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One problem solved. XD


	20. Chapter 20

“So, no more traps set from the Rossi family”, Dinah tells Renee once they are back at her home, watching how Helena takes off her shirt and unwraps the bandage in front of the mirror to peer at her injury, admiring the woman’s muscular back as she has quite the good view, “Helena almost made the guy shit himself, if his father wants to risk losing his son, he’ll have to do it on his own.”

“Well, now we just have to see if one of Ellen’s contacts stops giving her leads”, Renee ponders out loud, Dinah letting out a vaguely agreeing noise, distracted a bit as Helena is turning in front of the mirror for a better look and thus allows Dinah’s a good view of her abs, “then we also know who the mole is. Two in one, good job girls.”

“Thank you”, Dinah says, still distracted, and apparently Renee picks up on this, as she sounds amused when she tells her she doesn’t want to keep her any longer, Dinah letting out another vaguely agreeing noise before she remembers her manners enough at least to say goodbye, quickly hanging up and putting the phone on the table before she rises from her seat.

“Helena”, she says, the assassin turning to look at her, and letting her shirt drop back down in the process, to Dinah’s dismay, “shame on you.”

“What?” Helena says, blinking, and Dinah is quick to explain, not wanting her to think she actually has done something wrong.

“Hiding that great view from me again”, she says, wrapping both arms around her, still mindful of her injury, even though it looks like it’s healing just fine, “and distracting me with those abs when I’m on the phone with Renee.”

“Oh”, Helena lets out, looking down at herself even though the abs in question are covered up, “I’m sorry…?”

“You are aware that was a compliment, right”, Dinah wants to know, belatedly realizing that Helena probably hasn’t been given many of those in her life so far, and judging from how the assassin blushes, this has not been a wrong assumption to make.

“Just so you know”, she adds, glad when Helena smiles a bit at her words and doesn’t seem uncomfortable, “I’m planning to take a  _ very  _ close look at those abs once you’re fully healed.”

This time, Helena gets what Dinah is going for, as she smirks a bit; a moment later, her smirk fades though, and she clears her throat, looking a bit uncomfortable now, speaking up though before Dinah has to ask.

“I, um, I’ve never… you know”, the assassin says, blush deepening, “so… I might not… be good…?”

“Don’t worry about that”, Dinah tells her at once, glad when this earns her another little smile, “we’ll take it slow, one step at a time.”

Helena somehow manages to look both relieved and a bit dismayed at that, and Dinah smirks at her, sliding her hands beneath her shirt so she can rest them on her bare back, immediately noticing how Helena pulls in a sharp breath at the touch.

“We’ll take it slow”, Dinah says again, “but that doesn’t mean we can’t do anything at all, you know.”

She leans in for a kiss, one which quickly deepens; and as she feels Helena pulls her closer, she pulls back, smiling again at the look of disappointment, nodding towards the couch afterwards, her words immediately making Helena smile again.

“Why don’t we get more comfortable”, Dinah suggests, and the assassin nods at once; they move to sit on the couch, and once they are comfortable, Dinah kisses Helena again, the taller woman wrapping both arms around her and pulling her close, once again forgetting all her worries and her fears at how good this feels.

* * *

In the next morning, Dinah decides that it is time to introduce Helena to the wonders of American breakfast foods; Helena is confused at this, telling her she knows what Americans eat for breakfast, but Dinah won’t have any of it, letting her know she won’t get out of this and that she knows the perfect place to get started on Helena’s education when it comes to “food Americans (Dinah) like which is actually not crap”. 

Helena can’t say no to Dinah, so, she shrugs, then agrees; and so, once they have put on clothes suitable for going out - and Helena has hidden a few knives on her person, just in case - they head out, Dinah reassuring her it’s not far and there is no need for them to take her car.

So, they walk, and after a few steps, Helena reaches out and takes hold of Dinah’s hand; Dinah smiles up at her as her fingers curl around the assassin’s, and the shy way Helena smiles back at her makes her heart speed up.

She squeezes her hand, and Helena’s smile widens slightly; Dinah finds herself wondering if this is actually the first time Helena is holding hands with someone, but doesn’t want to embarrass her and thus doesn’t ask, pointing the diner up ahead out instead and telling Helena that this is the place they want.

“They have an amazing breakfast platter”, she tells the assassin, Helena eying the building, it looks a bit shabby from the outside, but she figures Dinah wouldn’t take her to a place with actual questionable hygiene, and so she just nods, still relieved though when they enter the diner and it looks quite clean and well taken care of.

“Just so you know”, she still says as Dinah leads her inside and they find an empty booth, “if this gives me heartburn or, even worse, the squirts, I will be grumpy with you.”

“The squirts?” Dinah repeats with a small laugh, Helena shrugging, “this is adorable, I don’t think I have heard it being called that since pre-school. But no worries, it will neither give you heartburn, nor  _ the squirts _ . Look here.”

She points the breakfast platter for two out to her on the menu, and Helena quickly realizes it has everything she’s  _ not  _ supposed to eat - fried egg, fried bacon, sausages, pancakes, donuts and muffins, but then, she figures it’s okay to eat something like this every once in a while, and Dinah looks so excited about sharing this with her, so she can’t find it within herself to say no.

“Looks good to me”, she thus says, and the smile Dinah gives her makes her heart sing; she smiles back at her, for once allowing herself to forget what she has been taught about how important a healthy diet is for a good assassin, telling herself that she can do what Dinah has suggested a while ago, that she can just be Helena Bertinelli for a while and not a trained killer, feeling good and confident as she sits there with the singer, better than she has in quite a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, Helena is feeling good and happy, yay. :D


	21. Chapter 21

Quite a while later, Helena is back on Dinah’s couch, groaning; she neither has heartburn, nor the squirts, but she feels as if she might explode any moment, she has eaten  _ way _ too much and is honestly surprised that her stomach isn’t actually bulging like in some sort of cartoon.

“Okay”, she mumbles, Dinah looking over at her, feeling just as stuffed as the assassin, “you were right, that was some amazing food. But now I feel as if I swallowed a rock.”

“That goes away after a while”, Dinah reassures her, patting her thigh reassuringly and making her smile at once, “but I’m glad you enjoyed it. I love that platter, but it’s way too much for me alone, so I’m glad I got to share it with you.”

“If I ate that alone, I’d die”, Helena solemnly says, making Dinah laugh again; she leans in for a breath kiss, then suggests that instead of dying, perhaps Helena should take a nap instead, the assassin pouting when she asks Dinah to join her and gets the response that she has some errands to run first.

“But I’ll snuggle you in case you’re still napping when I come back”, she then reassures her, and that makes Helena smile again; Dinah smiles back at her, then kisses her once more, promising her she’ll hurry, Helena nodding her agreement before she yawns, realizing that she really can need that nap.

“Go get some sleep”, Dinah tells her, making her nod again, “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Helena still hears her get ready again and leave the apartment, then drifts off into sleep; the couch is not quite big enough to let her stretch out fully, but she still sleeps quite well, her still healing injury taking more of a toll on her than she wants to admit, especially after the excitement of the last few days.

She doesn’t sleep as good as she has with Dinah by her side, but still better than she has back at her old place, when she still has been doing work for the men who have raised her; and she sleeps deeply, and long, feeling a bit confused when she wakes again and blinks at the clock on Dinah’s wall, realizing how much time has passed.

She’s slept for almost two hours, and Dinah isn’t back yet even though she has reassured her she’ll be quick, and all at once, Helena just  _ knows _ that something is wrong.

_ Don’t be paranoid _ , she tells herself as she gets up from the couch, now regretting she hasn’t gotten a new phone yet so she can’t even try calling Dinah, but just as she knows something is wrong, she knows it would be of no use to call her, it wouldn’t help, something is wrong and she knows it.

There’s a knock on the door, and Helena jumps before she can stop herself; she regains her composure quickly though, and grabs her crossbow, aiming it at the door as she approaches it slowly and soundlessly, wanting to surprise whoever just had knocked.

Keeping the crossbow aimed with one hand, Helena reaches for the doorknob with the other, then yanks the door open quickly; the hallway is empty though, whoever has knocked the door is already gone again, but Helena knows this hasn’t just been some sort of prank or someone knocking on the wrong door.

From the corner of her eye, she notices something which hasn’t been there before, a square of paper taped to the door; frowning, Helena lowers the crossbow after all and yanks the paper off, then steps back into the apartment and closes the door again before she unfolds the paper.

She recognizes the handwriting at once, and her stomach clenches painfully, it’s just a few words, but those words tell her how wrong exactly things have gone in the last two hours.

_ Want the girl back, show up at the former butcher plant tonight at ten. Alone. _

“Shit”, Helena manages, having to sit down as she stares at the note, running an unsteady hand through her hair, “shit!”

She crumples the note up and throws it against the wall in a sudden fit of rage, then takes in a deep breath, telling herself that she can do this - she knows the men who have trained her are behind this, and she knows they now have Dinah, and will probably try their hardest to kill her the moment she’ll show up there.

They have trained her well though, she darkly thinks to herself, perhaps better than they think right now, and Helena is determined to make use of every tiny bit of knowledge she has to get Dinah out of there alive and well. 

* * *

Dinah can’t help but wonder if they know about her power as she sits there, trying to subtly work on the ropes tying her to the massive steel beam in an attempt to free herself; she’s woken up with a headache, tied to this structure and with a firm gag in her mouth, so them knowing might make sense, but then, maybe they just don’t want her to scream for help and have no idea what she can do.

She doesn’t recognize any of the guys, but there’s a bunch of them standing around and talking, and three of them have audible accents, and one of them even has a vaguely familiar voice, and when he looks at her and smiles cruelly, her blood runs cold as she realizes who these people are.

“You do know who I am, don’t you”, he says, stepping closer to her while the others spread out through what once has been some sort of meat processing plant, but now is just a dark, dirty place, somewhat creepy with the machinery and equipment left behind, “I do believe you called me an asshole on the phone one time. Remember?”

Dinah lets out a vaguely agreeing noise, not able to say much more; he chuckles to himself while his companions look less amused, then smirks again, crossing his arms over his chest, the movement prompting his jacket to shift and allowing her to see the gun he carries before the jacket hides it again, and she wonders if he has wanted her to see it or if it has been an accident.

“That alone wouldn’t have made us come here, you know”, he says, and now she wonders why he is telling her this, perhaps he is just bored or perhaps Harley would have been able to point out a fascinating psychological reason for this, “but that Helena has betrayed us? We’re fairly certain you’ve had a hand in that. Led her astray, so to speak. So, we will take care of her, and then of you, and all will be right again in the world.”

“Um, Boss”, one of the goons Dinah figures they have hired for this throws in, and she feels dark satisfaction at the fact that there’s at least five extra guys, as their need to outnumber Helena like that shows how much they respect and perhaps even fear her skill, “we just found Jimmy dead over there. No one heard or saw a thing.”

The man frowns, and his two companions do as well; and Dinah gives him an amused look, because she knows exactly that this guy hasn’t dropped dead of a heart attack.

Helena has arrived, she knows, and already has taken one of them down, and Dinah is fairly certain the rest of them will follow quickly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops. Helena is pissed now.


	22. Chapter 22

“Spread out”, the guy who Dinah assumes is the leader of the group orders at once, glaring around angrily as if he can force Helena to pop out of her hiding place just with the power of his angry gaze, “find her! You two stay here with me, she’ll come to get the girl, you know she will.”

One of them responds with something in Italian, Dinah can’t understand him, but from his tone, she can tell it hasn’t been something nice; all she can do is glare at him though, and she feels that dark satisfaction again when she hears a man yelp several feet away, followed by the sound of a body hitting the ground.

_ Another one down _ , she thinks to herself while the men curse,  _ guess you guys didn’t think this through. This place might work well for the dark and creepy atmosphere, but it also gives her many chances to hide. _

Another man yelps, then falls silent, and that leaves only two of the extra guys the assassins have brought; they curse again, glaring around, but can’t spot Helena anywhere, the leader guy grumbling to himself as he turns to face Dinah again.

“Helena!” he then shouts, while Dinah notices movement from the corner of her eye, a shadow moving up on the abandoned equipment, and past her, making a point of not looking as she doesn’t want to give it away, “I know you can hear me! Show yourself now or she dies!”

He draws his gun and aims it at her head, and Dinah feels her heart speed up again, her mouth going dry as she stares down the dark hole of the barrel; he’s not even looking at her, but she figures he won’t have to, if he’s nearly as good as Helena is, he’ll kill her offhandedly, she has seen her use that crossbow and has seen her pull off shots which would have been impossible to anyone else and this is one of the men who have trained her to be so good.

Something hits the steel beam she’s tied to with a metallic  _ clang _ , and for a second, Dinah wonders what that was - before the ropes around her wrists fall away, and suddenly she’s free, eyes briefly widening as she realizes what just has happened.

Then, just as the guy looks at her, having heard the noise as well, she realizes she has to be quick now, before they catch up and figure out what has happened, and she yanks the gag out of her mouth and springs to her feet, and the guy’s mouth actually falls open, making it clear he hasn’t put two and two together yet.

Dinah doesn’t give him the chance to, she pulls in a deep breath and then she  _ screams _ , and the men go flying, she sincerely hopes Helena is covering her ears wherever she is hiding somewhere behind her, but she can’t stop to check, not until she can be sure the guys won’t get back up anymore. 

They hit various bits and pieces of equipment and fall to the ground, remaining there unmoving; Dinah stops as she knows very well what will happen if she keeps this up for too long, just in time to hear the extra men they have brought run, apparently, none of them has any interest in facing her after what she just has done.

She sways a bit on her feet, but she has stopped early enough to not pass out this time; still, she needs to grab the steel beam for support, pulling in another deep breath just in case when she hears someone land on the ground a few feet away.

“It’s me”, Helena calls out to her, apparently having noticed that Dinah is ready to unleash her cry once more; relieved, Dinah allows herself to relax, but she just has to take one look at Helena to know that the assassin is far from relaxed as the taller woman comes jogging up to her, crossbow already loaded again and ready.

“Are you okay?” Helena asks the moment she’s close enough to not have to shout anymore to be heard, “they didn’t hurt you, did they? I didn’t hurt you with the bolt, right?”

“I’m fine”, Dinah reassures her, and then Helena has her wrapped up in a hug, tight enough so she has trouble breathing for a moment, until the assassin realizes she is squeezing her a bit too hard and loosens her hold, “and that was an impressive shot you know, I don’t think anyone else could have pulled that off.”

Helena just shrugs, then immediately tenses again when one of the assassins groans behind the singer; she lets go of Dinah and aims her crossbow in one fluid motion, her finger on the trigger, but she doesn’t fire, lowering the weapon again when the man remains motionless, making no move to get up.

“They’re done, aren’t they”, she says after a moment, her carefully controlled tone prompting Dinah to give her a worried look as she knows that these men have been the only people in Helena’s life for fifteen years to show her any sort of care, even if it hadn’t been very good for her, “I know what your cry does to people, and they were close to you when you started, too.”

“Yeah, they are”, Dinah confirms, she knows as well as Helena that the men are either deaf, brain damaged or both; she worries for another moment how Helena will take this, glad when she sees the assassin relax visibly after another second.

“Let’s go”, Helena says, Dinah nodding at once and taking tender hold of her free hand; she’s glad when this earns her a small smile from the taller woman, and when she walks past the downed assassins, she doesn’t look at them, not looking back either when they step outside and head to her bike, Dinah only letting go of her hand once she has to so she can get onto the bike behind her, but holding on tight to her as they drive back to her home, silently reassuring her that she is there and fine and not going anywhere.

* * *

“You’re really okay?” Helena asks once they are back at Dinah’s apartment, giving her a worried look once again, even though Dinah knows there are no visible injuries anywhere, the men have used a cloth soaked in some smelly stuff to knock her out and even the headache this has given her has faded by now, “they didn’t hurt you?”

“I’m fine”, Dinah reassures her again, touched by her concern, letting it happen that Helena guides her to the couch and gets her to sit down, “really, I am, don’t worry. Just a bit thirsty, but I did use the cry, so…”

“That might also come from the stuff they used to knock you out”, Helena points out, “I’ll get you some water, you stay right here on this couch.”

“Helena”, Dinah stops her before she can head off to the kitchen, grasping her wrist and stopping her, “I’m fine. I swear.”

Helena pauses at that, and her face works as she struggles to keep her emotions under control; she lets out a watery breath, and Dinah moves to hug her at once, holding her close, her own heart clenching when she feels the taller woman tremble in her arms.

“I’m okay”, Dinah tells her again, rubbing her back, eager to reassure her that everything is fine, “I’m okay, and I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

“They could have hurt you”, Helena manages in response, the audible tremble in her voice only making Dinah feel worse, “ _ I _ could have hurt you, when I made that shot.”

“But they didn’t”, Dinah tells her, still rubbing her back, “and you didn’t. I’m fine, and they won’t hurt anyone anymore ever again.”

She feels Helena nod against her shoulder, and keeps holding her, hoping she has found the right words to make this better; at least though, she tells herself, Helena stops trembling, and her breath slows down again as well, so she figures she must have done something right.

“I couldn’t take it to lose you”, Helena says after another moment, voice steady now as she pulls back a bit to look at Dinah, the singer relieved to see that her eyes are dry and that she’s fairly calm, “I was so scared when I found that note.”

“I was a bit worried when I woke up in that creepy place”, Dinah tells her, Helena raising an eyebrow at Dinah claiming she just has been “a bit worried”, prompting her to elaborate, glad again when she manages to make Helena smile a bit.

“I figured I’d either get rid of the gag and use the cry”, Dinah tells her, “or that you’d come and make sure nothing happens to me. Turns out that it was a combination of those two options, we do make a good team.”

“We do”, Helena agrees with a small smile, Dinah smiling back at her before she pulls her in for a tender kiss, and at feeling her lips on her own, Helena calms down fully, her fears and worries forgotten as she realizes that Dinah is okay, that they are safe and that, after being hit full force with the Canary Cry, the men who’d raised her won’t be coming after her anymore, the last bits of her worries vanishing as she realizes that now, she can truly start her new life here, with Dinah by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that shot realistically possible? Maybe.  
> Do I care? Eh, freedom of art AND rule of cool. x)


	23. Chapter 23

“So Ellen called me yesterday evening”, Renee tells the two as they get ready to go out for another night, “she found out who the mole was and sent a tip to Internal Affairs. Guys’s been suspended and is under investigation now.”

“Good riddance”, Dinah comments, watching with a slight smile how Helena checks her crossbow, as if she doesn’t know it’s in perfect working order, after how meticulously she’s cleaned it in the afternoon, “so we got rid of the assassins and of the mole, all in one evening. Nice.”

“The assassins?” Renee repeats, raising an eyebrow, and Dinah belatedly realizes they haven’t told her yet; so she gives her a quick recap, making it sound much less dramatic than it has been, figuring Renee will be annoyed that they haven’t told her earlier.

“...and then Helena shot the rope with her crossbow and I canary cried them”, she finishes, Renee blinking before she stares at Helena, the assassin just shrugging in response, aware of what a difficult shot this has been to make, but by now just glad that she has pulled it off without hurting her girlfriend.

“Excuse me”, Renee says, blinking again as she processes everything she’s been told, “Helena did what? And also, you were kidnapped by those guys and Helena, you giant dumbass, you didn’t think of calling me?”

“I couldn’t have if I had wanted to”, Helena points out, taking the insult in stride, knowing by now that Renee doesn’t mean it as harsh as it might have sounded, “I have no phone right now, Dinah broke it. And even if I had one, I don’t have your number.”

“Okay, we’re gonna get you a phone then”, Renee says with a roll of her eyes, “just so you can tell me in a timely manner the next time your girlfriend gets kidnapped by creepy assassins! You both okay?”

“Fine”, Dinah reassures her, “the guys aren’t, but, eh, good riddance again. So we got Rossi under control, the mole has been found _and_ no more creepy assassins out to do harm to my lovely girl here. Good week, I’d say.”

“Yeah, good work”, Renee agrees, slipping her brass knuckles into her pocket, “but no reason to slow down. You girls ready to go out and clean up some more trash?”

“80s cop talk again”, Dinah points out, smiling when Helena smirks slightly, her smiles come easier now, but are still somewhat rare, and she’s glad every time she does manage to make Helena smile; Renee just rolls her eyes, not dignifying that with any other sort of answer, and the three of them head out, ready to take care of yet another gang, eager to continue their work now that the men out to get them have been taken care of.

* * *

The fight goes well, with no unexpected surprises, and this time, as Helena is in no pain from her still healing injury, they do go out for victory drinks; and at the bar Renee has chosen, they run into Harley, something which surprises the former cop a bit, but Harley reassures them she’s just there for drinks and not up to anything shady, and ends up joining them at their table, eyebrows shooting up to her hairline when she takes note of how Dinah’s hand rests on Helena’s thigh.

“So you guys hooked up”, she doesn’t bother to beat around the bush, “good for you. You doing okay, Helena?”

“I guess so”, Helena replies with a shrug, “we got quite a bit done in the last few days, and I’m part of the team now so… yeah. I’m okay.”

“Happy to hear”, Harley beams while Dinah smiles at the taller woman, “you deserve that, after all the shit you’ve been through. And to celebrate this start of a better life with less murder for money, I got something for you.”

She digs through her pockets until she pulls out a folded up, oddly bulging piece of paper, and a purple toy car, which she pushes over the table to a now slightly wary looking Helena; the assassin glances at it, then up at her, and Harley grins at her as she nods at her to unfold it, Dinah not quite sure what to think either as she watches her girlfriend do so.

“Harley”, Helena says once she has unfolded the paper and a small deformed metal object falls out and lands on the table, “is this…?”

“The bullet I dug out of you, yup!” Harley proudly says, and Dinah shakes her head while Renee just looks a bit disgusted and Helena gives her a look of disbelief, “but no worries, it’s perfectly clean, I ran it through the dishwasher! And that little car you gave Cass during the fight, she said you’d want it back.”

“Why the fuck would you keep that bullet”, Helena demands to know, shaking her head, “also, you have a dishwasher? And also, again, why would you give that to me?”

“I’m not giving it to you”, Harley declares, only confusing her further, snatching the bullet up again and pocketing it, “I just wanted to show you I still have it. The paper is the important part.”

Helena frowns, but does take a closer look at the paper, Dinah leaning closer as well; the strings of numbers on it mean nothing to her, but they obviously do to Helena, as her mouth literally falls open, her eyes wide when she looks up at Harley again.

“Is this…?” she starts, and Harley grins again, nodding as she slurps her drink noisily through her straw, eyes sparkling when she stops and speaks up again.

“The account information from the diamond, yup”, she tells Helena, Dinah now staring too while Renee lets out a low whistle, well aware of what this means, “congrats, Miss Bertinelli, you’re filthy fucking rich now. I pawned the diamond long ago, but I did get the codes off of it before I did so.”

“Why give it to her now”, Dinah wants to know, frowning, “if you’ve had them all this time?”

“Well, I had no idea where she is until you guys found her”, Harley points out, and Dinah has to admit this is a good point, “and once you did find her, I wanted to be sure she’s in a good place before I gave them to her. If I had given them to her right then and there, she probably would have ended up drinking herself to death or something.”

Helena makes a face at this, but doesn’t protest, Dinah notes; she clears her throat instead, then carefully folds the paper up and puts it in her pocket, needing a few breaths to keep her emotions in check before she does speak up.

“Thank you, Harley”, she says sincerely, making Harley grin and shrug again, “I mean it, thanks. For the numbers, and the car and... And thanks for… looking out for me the way you did, with the others.”

“Course, that’s what friends are for”, Harley says, holding out her fist and smiling when Helena bumps it with her own, “so whatcha gonna do with all that cash now? Retire?”

“No”, Helena says at once, to the obvious gladness of both Dinah and Renee, “first, I’ll get a new phone. And then, I’ll use that to fund us, that way, we can focus on the team fully. Um, if that’s okay for you guys, of course.”

Both Dinah and Renee nod their agreement to that at once, making Helena smile again; Dinah smiles back at her, then pulls her in for a brief, but tender kiss, and when they pull apart again, they know that everything will be alright now, that Helena will have time and chance to heal and do what’s right, with them, and that this will make all of their lives much better in the future.

 _And I feel revived,  
_ sacred and honoured, one of the kind  
 _And I feel this life  
Is something I was chosen for_

**Insomnium - Through the Shadows**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's done :) Thank you all for reading, commenting and leaving kudos - new one will start soon ;)


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